Raj Put, the Indian restaurants and cultures.
Those of you that know Mark and myself very well will know that we closely embrace every other culture on the planet. It's not a matter of 'acceptance' or 'tolerance' - we truly love every one of them. I find the word 'tolerance' to be rather irritating. In my mind's little eye, if someone is 'tolerant' of me, they are forcing themselves to put up with me, or to deal with me, but would most likely rather be in the presence of virtually anybody else at that particular moment. Uh...No thank you! I have worked the following over-used phrase to death: "Those of you who love me know me well - those who don't can go to hell!" I do not want to be merely tolerated. The very few people that I welcome into my inner circles love me dearly for who I am, and they do not merely tolerate me. I that same philosophy applies to our embracing every other culture on the planet. I don't merely tolerate them - I welcome and embrace them into my life. While it is true that I was instrumental in introducing Mark to the cultural events that I go to, the Indian, Vietnamese, and Thai restaurants (and the list could go on forever!), he has quickly picked up the ball and ran with it. Our living room is 18th Century Qing Dynasty furniture with a definite world traveler theme. I find all the different foods, customs, religions and beliefs as well as clothing, arts and crafts from other cultures refreshing and inspiring.
There is more than one danger involved in living in a tight, constricted environment. People that impose unnecessary limitations on themselves will most often impose the same limitations on their children and any family member around them:
"I don't eat this...."
"I don't eat that....."
"I won't wear that...."
"Why are they doing that...."
I've heard them all.
It's sad and funny at the same time when I hear a remark made by an American about someone speak with an English, Scottish, Irish or Australian accent. I've heard them remark, "I can't stand that accent. I don't like the way they talk." I answer them, "You do realize, of course, that the English are the people that invented the language that you Americans have effectively bastardized so well!" The blank looks I get in response are priceless.
Back to self-imposed restrictions: The root of these restrictions (filters!) that people impose on themselves and the people around them most often comes from the environment in which we are raised. I've heard the phrase, "Rise above your raising." That is a profound statement. Just because a person was raised not accepting other cultures, eating a limited variety of foods, not exploring new places, new clothing new music, etc, etc, doesn't mean we have to continue our lives doing so. At a very early age, we are capable of having individual and separate thoughts than those people around us. We each have the responsibility of deciding on which thought, belief, standard, moral, custom or tradition that we have been taught to believe since birth that we actually want to keep, which ones we want to alter a bit, and which ones we want to throw out with the next trash pick-up. Some folks have parents that were instrumental in broadening their children's horizons, rather than limit them or give them a bleak outlook on life. Mind you, procreation wasn't meant for everybody. Please remember that some animals eat their young!
At any rate, it is our own responsibility to change our filters so we can see the world more clearly. Please do not live your life through filters that other people have imposed on you. We have to live our own lives. When it comes time for you to pass from this earth, trust me when I tell you that you, too, will be the only one to do that. Nobody else is going go die for you, and nobody is going to do the living, either...so...
Do just that - LIVE!
You must realize that this is a huge planet, with a large variety of people on it's surface. One person's religion or beliefs is just as valid, but not more, than another person's. There are many, many different foods out there. Traditional American beliefs, foods, customs, clothing, music, etc is a good thing - but people need to be aware that the American way of life is just ONE flavor of a huge palate in the world. Because a view might be limited to things in the immediate area, one should realize that the world does not definitely stop there. If you believe that the small world around you is the only way of life, you are indeed short changing your life, and possibly, those around you. I think it should be a crime to limit a child's dining choices to a few select items. You create monsters by doing so. I also think parents should be jailed for NOT taking their children to cultural events, and to places such as St. Louis' City Museum (http://www.citymuseum.org/home.asp). Even though parents might impose limitations on themselves, it is inexcusable to impose these conditions on young, impressionable minds. Children (and adults!) have the capacity to expand their minds and their hearts. Restricting a child's choices because adults have not learned how to properly experience the wide world around them is like keeping a race horse in a small stall with no room to exercise - FOREVER! Eventually, that race horse will forget about the choices he had in life, and will accept his small, cramped space. What a waste of life!
Back to the cultures:
"Rajput". When you look at my Facebook pictures, you can't miss the huge, groomed moustach and goatee on my face. Let's take a segway for a second to my favorite cuisine and culture: Indian (India). I go to several Indian restaurants in the St. Louis area, including:
*India's Rasoi
*Tandoori Hut
*India's Kitchen
*Saffron
*Everest Cafe & Bar
*Haveli.
The proprietors at each restaurant know us personally. I have recently learned from an Indian fella that was attending the Great Forest Park Hot Air Balloon Race that the way I style my beard is loved and honored by many Indian people because a class of Indian warriors also sport the same beard type! A Rajput is a member of one of the major Hindu Kshatriya (warrior) groups of India and are a ruling class of the Indian subcontinent. They enjoy a reputation as soldiers; many of them serve in the Indian Armed Forces, while persons of Rajput ancestry also serve in the Pakistani Armed Forces.
After I shared with him that in American History, my look is known as "burlesque", I told this Indian fella that I thought the owners of these restaurants like us for **US**, but now that I think about it in a different context, do they love me for my look more than for ME? My Indian friend had a hearty laugh and assured me that both were possible - they like us because we are likable, AND because I resemble a part of their culture that they find endearing!
Miss Martha Stewart recently did a show on her trip to Istanbul (formerly known as Constantanople). I cried while I watched the entire show! She spent a day at a massive spice market that requires a day to completely cover. The foods she was
introduced to were nothing short of amazing. She also had several Turkish meals, visited the Great Blue Mosque. This Mosque is also known as the Sultan Ahmed Mosque. It was built between 1609 - 1616. There was NOTHING but TeePees in this country at that time!
Here is the Wikipedia article on this breath taking and awe inspiring Mosque:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sultan_Ahmed_Mosque
Videos on the Mosque on YouTube (select any video when the page loads!)
The Great Blue Mosque is more known for the fine detailed blue tiles inside the structure. Every time I look at pictures of these tiles, tears jump out of my eyes like a cartoon character! The detail is unparalleled. Here is some pictures on flickr.com:
Here is another sample of timeless, fine architecture in Istanbul. The Hagia Sophis was a church-turned-mosque-turned-museum, and contains fine examples of religions iconography from both religions:
I have had lengthy discussions with Mark about 'where in the world would I travel if I had the chance." I can't think of a country or land that I would not want to visit, if I was guaranteed a translator and that I would be physically safe. Honestly - I want to wear all the clothes, visit all the religious sites, try every food that I can stick in my mouth, and visit markets. I want to learn of the customs and traditions. I would visit all the famous tourist traps, as well as take a trek down a side street and see how people in other countries and cultures live day-to-day life. If I was forced to pick a favorite, it would have to be Moroccan, Byzantine-Moorish, Indian, Pakistani and other Middle eastern flavors, with Asian countries following an extremely close second place....but... I LOVE THEM ALL!
I can not impress upon you the value and the necessity of doing those things. Have you ever seen a person in a wheel chair that has a debilitating condition that has caused physical contractures of the arms or legs? If you do not do things to increase and expand your mind, you can and WILL develop mental contractures as well. The bad thing about that is not only what it does to yourself, but what it will do to those immediately around you. Not only do people choose to bring themselves down and keep themselves down, but they learn how to use such control and laziness, basically, to control others around them. Think about it: If (other than for allergy reasons) a person says, "I don't eat that...I won't see that...I won't touch that...I won't wear that...", etc, what is being accomplished by such behavior. The answer: 2 things that I can think of! 1) Laziness and 2) Control. Both should be actively eliminated from your lives. They are cancers that will eat you alive, and those around you.
In addition, many unknowing people will assume that they know everything they need to know. Please be advised that your level of intelligence is constantly changing. IF you don't use it, you will lose it! Have you ever heard 'The Dumbing down of America?" It is a very real and active phenomenon. Avoid it if you can! In two years, I have learned to read music at a 5 yr. level, and I have become an advanced knitter all completely self taught. As a result, I learn things much more quickly than somebody my own age. Every night of my entire life, I have been an active dreamer. I have 3 - 5 dreams every night, and I can remember most of them in detail. The big surprise: Since I have been working harder than ever to expand my mind, my tastes and my life, my dreams have become much more vivid. In fact, a few months go, my brain has started to go back and RERUN every one of those dreams - no matter how inconsequential - one at a time. The difference is that the second time around, there is much greater detail than the first time. They are indeed the same dreams, just more detail! I am here to tell you that my brain is rehashing dreams that I thought I had long since forgotten, and added tiny details to where there was once none! That is one small benefit of expanding my heart and mind that I enjoy. There are many more advantages to learning how to play an instrument, or continuing to learn a foreign language that I can possibly relay here. Trust me when I tell you that it works. Many people are lazy in areas that they will never be willing to admit to themselves. Try to avoid it, if you can!
*Learn a new skill - and maintain and expand it continually
*Go to cultural functions
*Learn why people around you behave (or misbehave!) around you, and how you can improve your life in a way to avoid becoming THOSE people! It does take some work, but 'Lazy' seldom reaps rich rewards. What it can get you, however, is bitter, sad, controlling and lonely!
- Michael
