Along the same train of thought, Tina Turner - my momma who got her start in St. Louis! - never publicly bad mouthed that worthless Ike Turner because, as she tells the story, if it had not been through the crap that he put her through, she might not have turned into the force that she remains today.
HOWEVER.... (Don't you just LOVE 'howevers'?).....
I would like to think that the price of becoming 'whoever you are today' could be paid at a much lower rate - just a little cheaper, if you know what I mean!
For example, I would like to believe that I would have become the musician and the creative person that I am today even IF my mother was supportive, rather than jab and make fun of any efforts that I ever attempted. She she tried to thwart or squelch anything that I ever attempted. As a counter, "I'll-show-you-who-can-do-what" measure, and absolutely no thanks to her, I became a creative, musically inclined individual. Please keep in mind that her intent was not to make me better, or to drive me forward. Her efforts were simply to stop me from becoming better than her. I am here today to tell you that 'Laziness never pays."
Needless to say, even to this day, she continues to fail miserably at trying to bring me down to her level - and I continue to explore my world, to create beautiful objects and I learn to play new, increasingly complicated music EVERY DAY. She continues a downward spiral, and I continue to soar to new heights, but my victory is by no intentional effort of her own to make me a better person. The results that I have seen in my life are 100% a result of my own hard work and determination, and attention to detail and finesse. Growing up, I knew that there HAD to be a better life than the one that I was dealt, and I was bound and determined to find it. It is a fact that I don't live in a mansion, or I don't have a high paying mob. Nonetheless, my efforts in finding a better life have paid off. I have been successful in my quest.
One would think that I could have achieved the levels that I have without having to go through the shit that she slings my way, but hey, I guess the outcome could have been much worse for me. I COULD BE HER!
Another thing that Tina credits for her life turning around after her "Ike days" is that she converted to Buddhism
.
One of Buddhism's main values is KARMA. That old girl, Karma. She is getting busier by the day, her response times are becoming quicker and her accuracy can't be beat! :)
Here's to Hinduism and Buddhism...... That reminds me... I need to stop by the Hindu Temple here on Weidman Road to say a puja....
Here are some images to browse. The details in this building are amazing, the food served in the basement is wonderful, and I find this temple to be the wonderful, calming and centering respite that my soul craves:
(That building looks small in the pics, but it is actually a fairly large building.)
More images:
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=hindu+temple+of+st+louis&FORM=BIFD#x0y0
Please find your place of respite and visit it frequently. It should be a special place where no other person can bother you, remove you, or otherwise harass you while you are there.
Another native St. Louisian, Maya Angelo says,
"My Garden is the place that I want to go after my last place is refused, but before I meet God."
I have several such places, including when I am on a Hammond organ or piano bench, when I am walking through the Missouri Botanical Gardens, when I am walking through a national award winning Fine Art Show, or when I am sitting in an Indian restaurant.
Your place(s) of respite will probably be totally different than mine, but they should exist, nonetheless. Go forth and find it, or find them! It will do your mind and body some good!
- Michael
My good sister, Karma, does seem to have my back again. See! I told you that the Buddhist Monk that is hiding inside me would one day come bubbling to the surface!
Are the following events pure coincidence, or is there more to the store than meets the ear? You tell me:
The church that I was raised in from 1979 until I got the Hell out of there was a Pentecostal church at 16th & Locust in Quincy, IL. The pastor that founded this church, Charles Mitchell, was never my biggest 'fan', and the man that took over the church after Mitchell left, Mark Fogarty was DEFINITELY not in my court, if you know what I mean.
At any rate, after Mark Fogarty basically robbed this congregation, as is his modus operandi, he moved on from this church to another somewhere in Georgia.
Another pastor came along to Calvary Tabernacle (16th & Locust), and eventually moved the church downtown Quincy.
The irony of it all? The church building at 16th & Locust became the home for the Church of the Holy Spirit - a gay congregation. Not so many years ago (the details are below), 'Pastor' Fogarty tried to tell me that I was 'living wrong', and that I was basically going to burn in Hell. My favorite sister, Karma, has made the entire thing come around full circle.
1) I played piano / organ for Calvary Tabernacle when I was in my early - mid teens.
2) I played piano for MCC (Metropolitan Church of Christ - a gay congregation) when the church was at 24 North 5th Street, Quincy, IL
3) Now, the same building - 16th & Locust - what was used to scorn and condemn me is now a place of respite and shelter for me - the Church of the Holy Spirit.
Pastor Fogarty: Ya really gotta be careful when you play God. I know it is difficult to imagine, but there are powers greater than your own, and they can and will be used against you!
The details:
I will never forget that little meeting that Mark Fogarty called when he found out that I am gay. He started 'throwing the book' at me, and I hurled it back at him. When he realized that he was not gaining any ground, he tried to squelch me by saying, "Oh, Son! Don't judge God's wisdom!" I said, "Sir, I think you are a little confused. I am a mere 7 yrs younger than you. I am not your son. And.... I'm not judging GOD's wisdom. I'm judging YOURS. And you're only a man. And barely that."
Both of my parents were at this meeting, as was Diane, both Diane's parents, both my parents, and Mark Fogarty's wife (the poor, beat down thing!) In all, there were 8 people at this little meeting, and the agenda was to discuss my sexuality.
After I politely said (with a smile, of course!), "You're only a man, and barely that!" He said, "Meeting's ajourned!" He stood up, and I rose out of my chair to shake his hand. He closed Good Book, and I went to the door. I turned and said, "Call me when we can do this again some time. I'll be looking forward to your call!" That was the last time I ever saw that man.
From what I understand, he has been busy since that meeting:
http://www.spiritualabuse.org/experiences/lawsuits/mark_fogarty.html
I have always had a guiding hand on my shoulder. When I first laid eyes on that man, I told my mother, "There is something about that man that I don't like. Look just beneath the skin, and you will know what I'm talking about." Of course, I was once again squelched. After he left that church in a much bigger hock than he found them (which included selling the church's organ and piano to buy himself a Hammond B3 and a digital keyboard, which he took with them), he left town, and left them in a mess.
The moral of this story:
A man (woman and child) is just that. A human being. Human beings are capable of doing anything they set their minds to. A title that had been bestowed on them (or one that they have bestowed upon themselves!) doesn't mean squat to me. In my humble opinion, a person is judged by his / her actions, and not a title, if you know what I mean. :)
