You know what, Honey? It's NOT all about Forgiveness!
When I was an active nurse in a nursing home in St. Louis, I had a patient that had been admitted to that particular nursing home two years prior to my employment. She was an Alzheimer's patient that was in late stage 3 Alzheimer's when she was admitted. She was completely non-verbal. She never made a sound. She could not walk, feed herself, dress herself, or do any activities herself required for daily living. She never opened her eyes, and sat all day in a wheel chair, with her hands folded in her lap, rocking back and forth constantly.
One of the nurse's aides that worked with me was wheeling Doris to the dining room, so they could feed her lunch. As the wheelchair was rolling down the hallway passing the nurse's station, Doris said, "You know what, honey?" The nurse's aide was about to interrupt her, and I raised my hand to try to get her (the aide) to let the patient talk! From what I understood from her family, Doris had not said a word to anybody in over 5 years! I went to her wheelchair and I said, "No, what, sweetie?" She said, as clear as a bell, "Human beings are the nastiest animals!" I know I had tears running down my face. I bent down, and gave her the biggest hug I could muster. I said, "Honey, you haven't said a word in over FIVE years, and this is probably the most profound statement I have ever heard - and that you have ever spoken!" Her eyes were always closed. But - she did smile as the astonished aide pushed her wheelchair towards the dining room for lunch.
Segway: I have been following the story of Dr. William Petit and his family of Connecticut.
If you more details, you can find them here:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Dr-William-Petit-Speaks-Out-for-the-First-Time/1
On a Sunday morning in July 2007, the close-knit Petit family attended church services in their Connecticut suburb like they usually did. They had no premonition of the terror about to take place.
According to police, two convicted felons who were out on parole randomly spotted Jennifer and Michaela at a neighborhood convenience store. After following them home, 44-year-old Steven Hayes and 26-year-old Joshua Komisarjevsky plotted out a horrific home invasion.
After Sunday dinner for her family that night, Dr. Petit fell asleep reading the paper while the girls watched television and headed off to bed. At 3 a.m., the two armed intruders broke in. Dr. Petit was the first victim, bludgeoned with a baseball bat and tied unconscious to a pole in the basement. Jennifer, Hayley and Michaela were bound to their beds and tortured throughout the night.
No banks are open at 3 AM. They tortured this family until Monday morning. They forced Jennifer, William's wife and the mother of his children, at gun point to drive to the bank and withdraw $15,000. They said that if they got the money, no additional harm would be done to their family. I'm thinking the criminals were lying about that, too. To help protect her family, Jennifer drove one of the criminals to the bank, while the other held the remaining family members hostage in the home. Once they arrived at the bank, Jennifer went inside and wrote a check for $15,000, and on a deposit slip, she wrote a message to the teller, stating that she and her family were being held hostage for ransom, and she asked the teller in the note to call 911.
The teller did, indeed call 911, but it took them a HALF AN HOUR to get to this home - in a suburb! Wait - there's more! Within that half-hour, everybody but William would be dead, and the only reason he survived the brutal attack on his family was that the criminals thought he was already dead.
The criminal then drove Jennifer back to the house, where they proceeded to tie her to the newel post of the stair case. The sexually assaulted the 11 yr old girl, and then poured gasoline around each daughter and Jennifer. These criminals then set the house on fire, and ran out the door. William Petit had been unconscious since his brutal beating the night before. The smell of smoke stirred him, and he managed to break free from the post. He crawled upstairs and out the door, laying in the yard yelling for help. A neighbor heard his cries for help, and called 911 - the second time! But it was too late. Both of his daughters and his wife died of smoke inhalation. By the time the fireman had arrived, the house was a total loss. They found Jennifer (the wife) at the top of the steps. She had broken free of her ties, and was running up the steps to save her daughters when she collapsed and died. She died of smoke inhalation, and her body was burned beyond recognition. The medical examiner had a good idea who she was, but a positive identification had to be made using her dental records.
Are there no police? If I had the financial resources of Mr. Donald Trump, Mr. Bill Gates, Miss Oprah Winfrey or Ms. Martha Stewart, I would set aside several **million** dollars a year to fight people such as those employed by the county. Somebody is horribly negligent, and because of their negligence, 3 valuable lives were ruthlessly taken, and one man's life is permanently gutted. The criminals were captured. The oldest man was sentenced to death and is on Death Row. The second man has not yet gone to trial. Is it a surprise to you that he has already plead "Not Guilty" to all charges? How incredibly stupid can he be (and the lawyer supporting that plea!) Dear readers, I will not stop to consider your upbringing or your moral beliefs. What you believe is your business - not mine. I do believe that this man deserves to die, and I believe a lethal injection is not adequate. Simply put, some people are a boil on the ass of man-kind, and they deserve to die - outright. In fact, they should die in the same manner in which their victims suffered.
Even though I definitely was not in the house when these horrid crimes were committed, I firmly believe that when these 3 vivacious lives were taken, they did not die by merely going to sleep. I do believe that those that kill should die the same way their victims died. I do believe in the entire judicious (trial) process, and I believe they deserve a fair trial. It should happen QUICKLY and PUBLICLY, and not years later. The American Public tends to have a short memory for these events. A trial and punishment years after the fact is a wasted opportunity. Granted, I am in 100% agreement that these people deserve to die. I think it is a wasted opportunity to educate people in the following manner. If you kill, the message should be: "You are going to die for your crime...you are going to die quickly, and publicly, to serve as an example of 'How Not To Live Your Life', and "This is What Will Happen To You If You Violate Another human Being".
In her quest to be the 'conscious and the mind of America', and a good reporter, Oprah asked Mr. William Petit if he could ever find forgiveness for these ruthless murders. He responded by saying that he has received many tracts from religious groups stating that these acts were "God's Will" (C'mon, are you serious?). He politely asked the tract-senders to reconsider, because "God" would never be behind an act so cruel to individuals who just came home from his house of worship. He also stated that he is very angry with God at the moment, and that several smart people have told him that it is perfectly acceptable for him to be angry with God, because God is "Big, and he can handle it." I will agree with Mr. Petit. Actually, during the entire interview, there wasn't a statement that he made that I did not agree with. He went on to say that there are other forces at work in this world, and that God and "the Devil" both are given too much credit and too much blame for things they might have have had a hand in. I am in **no way** belittling this man's experience. I would never attempt to do that in 1,000 of my lifetimes. My heart and soul cries out for him, and I am hungry to see the perpetrators see a painful, vicious demise? Why? Because they deserve it - we've already discussed this point. However, it didn't take a mass murder and a ruthless act of arson for me to realize that God and the Devil do not receive credit (or blame) for every act on this planet. People have free will, and exercise it every minute of every day - and there are other evil (and good) forces working daily around us that are a bit more conspicuous than we originally would imagine.
Mr. Petit went on to say that since it is inherent in the human constitution to hate evil, any forgiveness for these people is, in his own words, "inappropriate." Oprah said one thing in response to this answer to her question, "That is a very good answer!" I also firmly believe that there are many people on this planet who commit horrid acts that will never deserve forgiveness. AND.....simply because one's misdeeds are not quite as bad as the acts that these 2 men have committed doesn't mean you are a good person. Bad has many levels - and they are all just that - BAD! Just because you aren't Charles Manson does not also make you Mother Theresa.
Since this incident, Mr. Petit (he was a prominent physician in his 50's) has lived with his parents. His younger sister has been at his side every minute of every day, trying to keep him company and to ensure his physical and mental safety.
Forgiveness, dear readers, was never meant to be a reward for the person who wronged you! Please review the definition of true Sadomasochism. No, this word does not belong solely to a certain group of people interested in sexual pleasures derived from bondage. The original term is useful in psychology. For example, a child has learned that if he does something inappropriate, he will be punished in some way. In addition, he (or she!) has learned that after his punishment, his parent will feel guilty for inflicting severe punishiment, and the parent will then lavish him with gifts. What has he learned? I act up, I get punished...then I get rewarded for acting up! That is the true definition of Sadomasochism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism
Apply what we have just learned to the case of someone forgiving a wrong-doer as a gift or reward for the perpetrator. Can you say, "S & M in it's truest form?", because that's exactly what would have just happened here. What should also be gleamed from this little exercise is that forgivness is for the person who was wronged, and never for the person or people who has done the inflicting. Why would we want to give an evil person a gift or a reward? Count me out of that one!
We have determined that forgiveness is, indeed, a gift, and in fact, a necessity for the victim. These principles also have to be worked every day, all day long. There is rarely a "cure all". Trust me when I tell you that I have to mentally (and sometimes verbally!) kick my mother, and most of my own family, for that matter, of the piano bench every morning of my life when I practice my music? Why? Because it was a favorite past time for my mother and my older brother to pull up a chair on either side of the piano and LOUDLY mock and jeer me while I practiced my music as a child. I can't tell you how many times I have caught myself seething to the point that I can't play another note, and I turn beet red and start shaking. Vidions of my fingers wrapping around their throats until they are no longer breathing are stabbing at my brain. I have to stop myself immediately and coach myself, "Michael, don't ever let anybody live in your head rent-free." and "Anger, frustration, hatred, and loathing are very heavy cloaks to pick up in the morning when you get out of bed, and put on your shoulders every day to wear throughout your day! I have to tell them, "I forgive you. Not because you deserve a gift. This gift is not for you - and it will never be for you. This gift me for ME, because I am a good, very talented, beautiful human being who has worked hard to make this world a better place, which is more than I can say for yourselves!" I have to give them one good symbolical kick, and their asses land on the hard, cold floor beside the piano or Hammond bench. THEN...I play better music than I ever have. However, once doesn't do it. I find myself having to shoo them off at least every-other day.
These things are never completely finished, and they take daily maintenance.
I do have one thing to say to Mr. Petit. In this round, I am in no way lessening my personal experience because it wasn't near the level of the hell that you experienced. Remember - there are different "Hells" right here on Earth! My mother and most of my immediate (and some extended!) family are monsters. My immediate family is soaked with individuals who have committed any where from minor to major infractions against their fellow man. Stress, bitterness, hatred, seathing, and the list goes on only serves to give away your power. YOU deserve to keep that power. You were a prominent physician that can no longer practice because of what two men did to you and your family. I can never and I will never be able to fathom you level of grief, suffering, anger and dispair. I can only use my life as an example, because that is my own personal view point. I can tell you that even though I have suffered at the hands of idiots, and if I ever returned to their vicinity, I'm sure they would be more than thrilled to try to pour their famous crap on me again. What a bad mistake that would be - but I digress!
I you do not reclaim what is left of your life from the worthless idiots that took away your world, there would be 4 deaths in the family instead of 3. That would be another senseless loss. I never knew your family, but I guarantee you that they would not want you to wither away and cease to function as a result of their deaths. Bette Davis is the only person who ever wanted that!
Mindless things that other people will say that you will never hear out of my mouth:
1) "Oh, it was God's Will!"
My response: "How do you know, are you God?"
2) "Oh, they're better off." or, "They're in a better place!"
My response: "Where the hell do you people come up with this crap? Do you run it through the filters in your own mind before you mindless repeat what you have heard other people say?"
What should be said, "I am here for you if you need anything, or you want to talk." Or - give them a big hug. No more is usually wanted, or is necessary.
Dr. Petit, you have to say, "I release you, you heavy burdensome cloak of fear, anger, hatred and disgust! I don't forgive you, you criminals. I never have and I never will. You do not deserve forgiveness. But, for one more minute, you will not steal my power that you did not deserve in the first place, nor should you expect that I will give it away to you." Then, I play music on one of my instruments. Music is incredibly healing. I go to my local Missouri Botanical Garden, to the Climatron Tropical Rainforest, and even in the middle of the winter, the warm sun beams down on my face, and I am surrounded by a rainforest filled with plants and birds. You have to find what works for you, and you have a lot more work than I have to do!
Poet Maya Angelo, a St. Louis native, once wrote when asked of her personal reprieve: "My Garden is the place I want to go after my last breath is refused, but before I meet God." Personally, I have several of those places. The Missouri Botanical Gardens is one of them, The Shaw Nature Preserve or The Butterfly House are others, as is my piano or Hammond bench, or a local nationally-known art show. Those are my places of refuge. You need to find your own, and try your best to take those demons by the horns. We are already mourning 3 losses - a 4th loss caused by a person who ceases to flourish because the actions of another person (a thief, a murder, or a bad person, in general!) is unjustified. To live under the heavy cloak that they thrust upon you can be considered the same action as allowing them to commit yet another crime against you. Not only will is effect you, but the burden will be transferred to those around you, creating more damage in the wake of the original misdeed. I did not just lapse into highfalutin' duck-speak. I can list names of individuals who are presently living such lives. Trust me when I tell you - it isn't pretty!
- Michael
When I was an active nurse in a nursing home in St. Louis, I had a patient that had been admitted to that particular nursing home two years prior to my employment. She was an Alzheimer's patient that was in late stage 3 Alzheimer's when she was admitted. She was completely non-verbal. She never made a sound. She could not walk, feed herself, dress herself, or do any activities herself required for daily living. She never opened her eyes, and sat all day in a wheel chair, with her hands folded in her lap, rocking back and forth constantly.
One of the nurse's aides that worked with me was wheeling Doris to the dining room, so they could feed her lunch. As the wheelchair was rolling down the hallway passing the nurse's station, Doris said, "You know what, honey?" The nurse's aide was about to interrupt her, and I raised my hand to try to get her (the aide) to let the patient talk! From what I understood from her family, Doris had not said a word to anybody in over 5 years! I went to her wheelchair and I said, "No, what, sweetie?" She said, as clear as a bell, "Human beings are the nastiest animals!" I know I had tears running down my face. I bent down, and gave her the biggest hug I could muster. I said, "Honey, you haven't said a word in over FIVE years, and this is probably the most profound statement I have ever heard - and that you have ever spoken!" Her eyes were always closed. But - she did smile as the astonished aide pushed her wheelchair towards the dining room for lunch.
Segway: I have been following the story of Dr. William Petit and his family of Connecticut.
If you more details, you can find them here:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Dr-William-Petit-Speaks-Out-for-the-First-Time/1
On a Sunday morning in July 2007, the close-knit Petit family attended church services in their Connecticut suburb like they usually did. They had no premonition of the terror about to take place.
According to police, two convicted felons who were out on parole randomly spotted Jennifer and Michaela at a neighborhood convenience store. After following them home, 44-year-old Steven Hayes and 26-year-old Joshua Komisarjevsky plotted out a horrific home invasion.
After Sunday dinner for her family that night, Dr. Petit fell asleep reading the paper while the girls watched television and headed off to bed. At 3 a.m., the two armed intruders broke in. Dr. Petit was the first victim, bludgeoned with a baseball bat and tied unconscious to a pole in the basement. Jennifer, Hayley and Michaela were bound to their beds and tortured throughout the night.
No banks are open at 3 AM. They tortured this family until Monday morning. They forced Jennifer, William's wife and the mother of his children, at gun point to drive to the bank and withdraw $15,000. They said that if they got the money, no additional harm would be done to their family. I'm thinking the criminals were lying about that, too. To help protect her family, Jennifer drove one of the criminals to the bank, while the other held the remaining family members hostage in the home. Once they arrived at the bank, Jennifer went inside and wrote a check for $15,000, and on a deposit slip, she wrote a message to the teller, stating that she and her family were being held hostage for ransom, and she asked the teller in the note to call 911.
The teller did, indeed call 911, but it took them a HALF AN HOUR to get to this home - in a suburb! Wait - there's more! Within that half-hour, everybody but William would be dead, and the only reason he survived the brutal attack on his family was that the criminals thought he was already dead.
The criminal then drove Jennifer back to the house, where they proceeded to tie her to the newel post of the stair case. The sexually assaulted the 11 yr old girl, and then poured gasoline around each daughter and Jennifer. These criminals then set the house on fire, and ran out the door. William Petit had been unconscious since his brutal beating the night before. The smell of smoke stirred him, and he managed to break free from the post. He crawled upstairs and out the door, laying in the yard yelling for help. A neighbor heard his cries for help, and called 911 - the second time! But it was too late. Both of his daughters and his wife died of smoke inhalation. By the time the fireman had arrived, the house was a total loss. They found Jennifer (the wife) at the top of the steps. She had broken free of her ties, and was running up the steps to save her daughters when she collapsed and died. She died of smoke inhalation, and her body was burned beyond recognition. The medical examiner had a good idea who she was, but a positive identification had to be made using her dental records.
Are there no police? If I had the financial resources of Mr. Donald Trump, Mr. Bill Gates, Miss Oprah Winfrey or Ms. Martha Stewart, I would set aside several **million** dollars a year to fight people such as those employed by the county. Somebody is horribly negligent, and because of their negligence, 3 valuable lives were ruthlessly taken, and one man's life is permanently gutted. The criminals were captured. The oldest man was sentenced to death and is on Death Row. The second man has not yet gone to trial. Is it a surprise to you that he has already plead "Not Guilty" to all charges? How incredibly stupid can he be (and the lawyer supporting that plea!) Dear readers, I will not stop to consider your upbringing or your moral beliefs. What you believe is your business - not mine. I do believe that this man deserves to die, and I believe a lethal injection is not adequate. Simply put, some people are a boil on the ass of man-kind, and they deserve to die - outright. In fact, they should die in the same manner in which their victims suffered.
Even though I definitely was not in the house when these horrid crimes were committed, I firmly believe that when these 3 vivacious lives were taken, they did not die by merely going to sleep. I do believe that those that kill should die the same way their victims died. I do believe in the entire judicious (trial) process, and I believe they deserve a fair trial. It should happen QUICKLY and PUBLICLY, and not years later. The American Public tends to have a short memory for these events. A trial and punishment years after the fact is a wasted opportunity. Granted, I am in 100% agreement that these people deserve to die. I think it is a wasted opportunity to educate people in the following manner. If you kill, the message should be: "You are going to die for your crime...you are going to die quickly, and publicly, to serve as an example of 'How Not To Live Your Life', and "This is What Will Happen To You If You Violate Another human Being".
In her quest to be the 'conscious and the mind of America', and a good reporter, Oprah asked Mr. William Petit if he could ever find forgiveness for these ruthless murders. He responded by saying that he has received many tracts from religious groups stating that these acts were "God's Will" (C'mon, are you serious?). He politely asked the tract-senders to reconsider, because "God" would never be behind an act so cruel to individuals who just came home from his house of worship. He also stated that he is very angry with God at the moment, and that several smart people have told him that it is perfectly acceptable for him to be angry with God, because God is "Big, and he can handle it." I will agree with Mr. Petit. Actually, during the entire interview, there wasn't a statement that he made that I did not agree with. He went on to say that there are other forces at work in this world, and that God and "the Devil" both are given too much credit and too much blame for things they might have have had a hand in. I am in **no way** belittling this man's experience. I would never attempt to do that in 1,000 of my lifetimes. My heart and soul cries out for him, and I am hungry to see the perpetrators see a painful, vicious demise? Why? Because they deserve it - we've already discussed this point. However, it didn't take a mass murder and a ruthless act of arson for me to realize that God and the Devil do not receive credit (or blame) for every act on this planet. People have free will, and exercise it every minute of every day - and there are other evil (and good) forces working daily around us that are a bit more conspicuous than we originally would imagine.
Mr. Petit went on to say that since it is inherent in the human constitution to hate evil, any forgiveness for these people is, in his own words, "inappropriate." Oprah said one thing in response to this answer to her question, "That is a very good answer!" I also firmly believe that there are many people on this planet who commit horrid acts that will never deserve forgiveness. AND.....simply because one's misdeeds are not quite as bad as the acts that these 2 men have committed doesn't mean you are a good person. Bad has many levels - and they are all just that - BAD! Just because you aren't Charles Manson does not also make you Mother Theresa.
Since this incident, Mr. Petit (he was a prominent physician in his 50's) has lived with his parents. His younger sister has been at his side every minute of every day, trying to keep him company and to ensure his physical and mental safety.
Forgiveness, dear readers, was never meant to be a reward for the person who wronged you! Please review the definition of true Sadomasochism. No, this word does not belong solely to a certain group of people interested in sexual pleasures derived from bondage. The original term is useful in psychology. For example, a child has learned that if he does something inappropriate, he will be punished in some way. In addition, he (or she!) has learned that after his punishment, his parent will feel guilty for inflicting severe punishiment, and the parent will then lavish him with gifts. What has he learned? I act up, I get punished...then I get rewarded for acting up! That is the true definition of Sadomasochism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism
Apply what we have just learned to the case of someone forgiving a wrong-doer as a gift or reward for the perpetrator. Can you say, "S & M in it's truest form?", because that's exactly what would have just happened here. What should also be gleamed from this little exercise is that forgivness is for the person who was wronged, and never for the person or people who has done the inflicting. Why would we want to give an evil person a gift or a reward? Count me out of that one!
We have determined that forgiveness is, indeed, a gift, and in fact, a necessity for the victim. These principles also have to be worked every day, all day long. There is rarely a "cure all". Trust me when I tell you that I have to mentally (and sometimes verbally!) kick my mother, and most of my own family, for that matter, of the piano bench every morning of my life when I practice my music? Why? Because it was a favorite past time for my mother and my older brother to pull up a chair on either side of the piano and LOUDLY mock and jeer me while I practiced my music as a child. I can't tell you how many times I have caught myself seething to the point that I can't play another note, and I turn beet red and start shaking. Vidions of my fingers wrapping around their throats until they are no longer breathing are stabbing at my brain. I have to stop myself immediately and coach myself, "Michael, don't ever let anybody live in your head rent-free." and "Anger, frustration, hatred, and loathing are very heavy cloaks to pick up in the morning when you get out of bed, and put on your shoulders every day to wear throughout your day! I have to tell them, "I forgive you. Not because you deserve a gift. This gift is not for you - and it will never be for you. This gift me for ME, because I am a good, very talented, beautiful human being who has worked hard to make this world a better place, which is more than I can say for yourselves!" I have to give them one good symbolical kick, and their asses land on the hard, cold floor beside the piano or Hammond bench. THEN...I play better music than I ever have. However, once doesn't do it. I find myself having to shoo them off at least every-other day.
These things are never completely finished, and they take daily maintenance.
I do have one thing to say to Mr. Petit. In this round, I am in no way lessening my personal experience because it wasn't near the level of the hell that you experienced. Remember - there are different "Hells" right here on Earth! My mother and most of my immediate (and some extended!) family are monsters. My immediate family is soaked with individuals who have committed any where from minor to major infractions against their fellow man. Stress, bitterness, hatred, seathing, and the list goes on only serves to give away your power. YOU deserve to keep that power. You were a prominent physician that can no longer practice because of what two men did to you and your family. I can never and I will never be able to fathom you level of grief, suffering, anger and dispair. I can only use my life as an example, because that is my own personal view point. I can tell you that even though I have suffered at the hands of idiots, and if I ever returned to their vicinity, I'm sure they would be more than thrilled to try to pour their famous crap on me again. What a bad mistake that would be - but I digress!
I you do not reclaim what is left of your life from the worthless idiots that took away your world, there would be 4 deaths in the family instead of 3. That would be another senseless loss. I never knew your family, but I guarantee you that they would not want you to wither away and cease to function as a result of their deaths. Bette Davis is the only person who ever wanted that!
Mindless things that other people will say that you will never hear out of my mouth:
1) "Oh, it was God's Will!"
My response: "How do you know, are you God?"
2) "Oh, they're better off." or, "They're in a better place!"
My response: "Where the hell do you people come up with this crap? Do you run it through the filters in your own mind before you mindless repeat what you have heard other people say?"
What should be said, "I am here for you if you need anything, or you want to talk." Or - give them a big hug. No more is usually wanted, or is necessary.
Dr. Petit, you have to say, "I release you, you heavy burdensome cloak of fear, anger, hatred and disgust! I don't forgive you, you criminals. I never have and I never will. You do not deserve forgiveness. But, for one more minute, you will not steal my power that you did not deserve in the first place, nor should you expect that I will give it away to you." Then, I play music on one of my instruments. Music is incredibly healing. I go to my local Missouri Botanical Garden, to the Climatron Tropical Rainforest, and even in the middle of the winter, the warm sun beams down on my face, and I am surrounded by a rainforest filled with plants and birds. You have to find what works for you, and you have a lot more work than I have to do!
Poet Maya Angelo, a St. Louis native, once wrote when asked of her personal reprieve: "My Garden is the place I want to go after my last breath is refused, but before I meet God." Personally, I have several of those places. The Missouri Botanical Gardens is one of them, The Shaw Nature Preserve or The Butterfly House are others, as is my piano or Hammond bench, or a local nationally-known art show. Those are my places of refuge. You need to find your own, and try your best to take those demons by the horns. We are already mourning 3 losses - a 4th loss caused by a person who ceases to flourish because the actions of another person (a thief, a murder, or a bad person, in general!) is unjustified. To live under the heavy cloak that they thrust upon you can be considered the same action as allowing them to commit yet another crime against you. Not only will is effect you, but the burden will be transferred to those around you, creating more damage in the wake of the original misdeed. I did not just lapse into highfalutin' duck-speak. I can list names of individuals who are presently living such lives. Trust me when I tell you - it isn't pretty!
- Michael
