Being a natural-born Gimp has it's obvious downfalls, but occasionally, there is a silver lining around that cloud. I get to go to stores, the Zoo, and other venues, when there are absolutely no crowds, because kids are in school, and adults are at work. Another example would be that yesterday, I decided to leisurely lay out in my back yard in my Hammock and read Dr. Pepperberg's book, "Alex & Me" (about her life with Alex The grey Parrot, and their intelligence and abilities). I will have to admit, however, that 'laying around' is a rare activity for me, and that I have spent less than 3 hours in my hammock all summer.
Here are a few more samples of the hidden benefits of being a Gimp :
I was born with an oddly clubbed foot. I still have a brace, and I SHOULD wear it often, but I don't!
The brace that I wore as a child was the metal bars that extend up the calf to a thick leather strap. On the 'foot end', the bars are permanently attached to a rather unattractive, utilitarian shoe.
This is my current custom-fitted, custom-made $2,200 brace from the Arizona Brace Company. My brace, in particular, is a combination of both pictures below. It has the exact same shape and laces as the top picture (with the exception that it is black leather, rather than beige), including the open-toed design, but it also has the straps that are included in the bottom picture.
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Anywho....When I was a mere tot, my mother would lock me in a high-chair, and forget about me. I had about enough of her crap one day, and I squirmed in my chair until I could align my metal brace with a 1 gallon jug of pickling vinegar that sat next to that damned high chair. WHACK! The entire house smelled strongly of pickles for several months, and I don't think I ever 'did time' in that chair again! (This could lead me to another story of when I was strapped into a hospital bed that involved someone - NOT ME! - accidentally ingesting urine, but for now, I will digress!)
I also had to wait long hours on a weekly basis - for YEARS - in the waiting room of an orthopedic surgeon's office (the Dr. that tried to put my foot back together again - many times). I never was a patient soul. Once again, the brace came to my rescue again! I reached over and whacked a standing sand-filled floor ashtray over. A loud noise followed, and sand went flying everywhere. We were rushed in immediately, and I don't ever remember waiting more than 5 minutes to see that Dr. again! :)
In reference to the fact that I have taught myself advanced knitting and that I have taught myself how to read music in 2 years, most people say, "You must be a very patient person!"
Anybody that knows me well will readily tell you that I am the most impatient person they have ever met.
I will also say:
"Patience are for lazy people who sit around and wait for something to happen. PERSEVERANCE is for people to get things done!"
- Michael
