"Michael, you MIGHT want to Come here to me! This is Conrad. I'm just a bird!"
Every morning of my long-suffering life, Conrad, my 18 yr. old African Grey parrot yells:
"Michael, Come here to me!" repeatedly and until I feed him, and preferably and specifically, when I feed him scrambled eggs.
This morning, I gave Conrad fresh fruits, including strawberries, blueberries, banana and cereal. He looked at it with the most disgusted look that a parrot can muster, and wouldn't touch his breakfast.
The minute I walked out of the living room, I heard food hitting the floor.... the LIVING ROOM floor, not the floor of his cage. He was hurling the offending food out of his cage and onto the floor.
I immediately went back to his cage, picked up the food off the living room floor, and put it on a saucer on the floor of his cage. (Once the food is THAT low, he won't throw it out of his cage.)
He looked at Denver, our 6 yr. old Black Lab / Sher Pei, who was minding his own business and happily eating his breakfast, and said, "Denver, you're just a whore! Conrad does change his begging routine up a bit.
This morning, I heard "Michael, you MIGHT want to Come here to me! This is Conrad. I'm just a bird!" until I got our 3 dogs fed (2 require specially prepared food with medication), and got more of my pressing morning routine out of way before turning my attention to him.
I can bear witness to the fact that Conrad is about two steps from being cut back to a specially prepared food that I make him until he gets over his latest "I will eat ONLY scrambled eggs and peanuts" fit.
I know there are day care centers for children.... There are day care centers for handicapped folk, and there are day care centers for the elderly. I know that in St. Louis, I can board his bird ass while on vacation, if necessary, but why isn't there a bird day care?
Occasionally, I would like a break from this feathered Napoleon! (Conrad's last name really is Bonaparte - and for good reason! :)
When one goes shopping for perfume or cologne, and the shopper has sampled 'one too many fragrances", to reset the snoot, s/he sniffs coffee beans before continuing to sample more fragrance options. For several years, I have used Patsy Cline's "Walkin' After Midnight" as my "musical beans". As is common for most musicians who have memorized sheet music, or has played a song by ear many, MANY times, we memorize 'chunks' of music, rather than specific and individual notes. If you stop a musician in the middle of such a 'chunk', and ask him the question "What notes are you playing?", or "What chord is that?", there is a really good chance that he won't be able to give you a correct answer without first involving an overload of thought and concentration, and most likely, he will have to go back and play through that section of the music a few times while watching his hands before he can give you a correct answer. With the "chunking" process in mind, if I play, say, a Scott Joplin rag that I have had mostly memorized for several years, and I trip over a section, I'll go back and play it again. There is a really good chance that during the second - or third - or fourth! pass, I'll trip in the same spot. I will fumble the exact same spot in the music. You must understand: The day before I have this 'tripping session', I most likely played through the 'sticky spot' in the same music without incident. The FOLLOWING day, I will most likely play the same piece - without additional effort. The explanation is relatively simple, in the fact that the 'bridge' in this particular spot in my memory needs a bit of repair and maintenance. Having never had music lessons, I had to find a solution for this problem: "PASS THE MUSICAL BEANS" I will often yell out to Mark while I am practicing piano, "I need the beans! Pass me the Musical Beans!", then I will play a totally unrelated song - usually a couple minutes of "Walkin' After Midnight" in a juiced-up, improvisational boogie version that I devised myself... THEN.... I will go back to the particular section of the current Scott Joplin (or other) song that is giving me problems. With a near 100 % success rate, after I have 'sniffed my musical beans!', I will breeze right through the troublesome section of the current song that I am working on. If I'm still having problems - which is rare, at this point - I will 'take another whiff of the musical beans', which usually solves the problem.Kinda like this.... (This me me playing my most common 'Musical Beans'...with very short facial hair!):
Thank you, Patsy Cline, Alan Block and Donn Hecht (the writers!) for my "musical beans!"
