I'm so glad that somebody has my back!

This has the standard answer that I have always given to people when they ask that dumb question re: my tattoos and piercings.

It's either that response, or I say, "Baby, it's only skin, and even YOU aren't going to take it with you when you go. When compared to the history of this Earth, your life is only a microscopic SPECK on that timeline, so in other words, your time here on Earth is VERY SHORT. Don't you think you should live, rather than exist, while you're here?"

There is no way I can possibly relate to you the looks on people's faces when I rip that one off. I can see a **tiny** light flicker on in their eyes (sometimes!), but I know it is usually extinguished the moment they walk away. Sometimes. OCCASIONALLY, somebody says, "You know.... I never thought of it that way!" I hope that particular individual goes forth, and lives purposefully, rather than existing.

I'm sure you have heard the story of the little boy standing on the beach, among thousands of starfish that have washed ashore. He is picking up the starfish, one by one, and throwing them back into the water. Some calloused person who has MADE themselves old walks by and asks him, "Son, what are you doing? You can't possibly save ALL the starfish!" He answers, "No, I can't. But I can save THAT one... (throws another one into the water).... and THAT one... (throws another one into the water).... and THAT one... (throws another one into the water)....

The only problem is that you can easily throw a wayward starfish back into the water. They can't fight back. Humans, however, get a little pissed and a little resistant when I tell them that they need to venture back into the water!

- Michael

Thanks to this cold that some generous person (!!) gave me, I have been a bit out of sorts - worse than usual - the past couple days.


Yesterday, I did the body piercing version of 'your dress being tucked up in your panty hose!"


When I take my daily shower, I take the 3/4" plugs out of my ears, and my 00 gauge septum plug, and I wash....er... I wash my holes.  My other major piercing, which shan't be mentioned, can fend for itself.  


Anywho, I took the 3/4" plugs out of my ears, soaped and rinsed the holes, and instead of putting BOTH plugs back in, I forgot, and I only put the right plug back in my ear.  So.... I go go the Missouri Botanical Gardens, and I go shopping at 5 different stores.  NOT ONE PERSON mentioned to me that I had only one plug in my ears, and I had a huge, gaping, floppy hole in the other ear!


I guess this is proof that I don't spend as much time in a mirror as I am often accused of doing.  After my shower, I blow dryed, moussed and hair srayed my bear and 'stache into it's normal place, and I **STILL** didn't notice that I was missing a plug.  When Mark pulled up in the driveway after he got off work (About 5:30 PM), he yelled out his car window as he was driving up, "Hey, MOO, why do you only have one plug in?"  A flash of terror shot through me as I felt my left year.   Yep.  It was gone.  I went into the bathroom, and looked in the window sill above the bathtub.  There sat the missing plug.  I had gone without it all day!


Still, I feel like the lady that leaves a public restroom with the back of her dress tucked up in her panty hose - and she's not wearing underwear!

- Michael

Uh... Sorry.... I didn't see you there!

Drivers do the same thing to bicyclists. WAY too many times has a car pulled out in front of me while I was on a bicycle.... going down hill... at 30 - 35 MPH.

I have had a few accidents because, in their minds, people refuse to validate motorcyclists and bicyclists as 'valid things that are moving FAST on a street.'

When I was 19, I was going down a fairly steep hill, and a woman in a van pulled out in front of me. I saw the "I don't give a damned about you" vacant look in her eyes, and although I was braking as hard as I could, and I was yelling as loud as I could to get her attention, she pulled out in front of me, anyway. I slammed into the side of her van, and my body bent the sliding door in so bad that I think they would have had to replace the door, and I know she was never able to open it again.

After my body hit her van - right shoulder first - my bicycle continued to slide underneath her van, and out the other side. If I was lucky in this scenario, it is because I was bounced off the street, and into the small grassy area between the sidewalk and the curb.
That bitch jumped out of her van and yelled at me (while I was still on the ground!), "Look, kid! You need to watch where you are riding that thing!"

I staggered to my feet, holding my aching shoulder, and I asked her, "If a car was sitting at the same intersection, and it was going at the same speed that I was - 35 mph - there is a good chance that somebody would be dead now."

Would you believe that this hideous, beastly woman continued to refuse to see that she was 100% at fault, and she continued to blame ME.

This incident occurred 25 years ago, and it was before the time of small, easily portable and popular cell phones. Should this incident occur TODAY, I would definitely retain the driver, I would call the police, and the driver would be ticketed (and they would pay for the damages to the $6,000 bicycle that I own!

I started yelling back at this woman. I finally said, "Look, I can walk over to Hardees (which was a half a block away), and since I work there, I can use the phone to call the cops,and THEY can settle this matter."

Even though it was DIM, I could see a small light flicker on in her eyes, and she started to get defensive, stating, "Hey! You don't have to be THAT way, do you?" I answered her with, "Since you were very wrong, and you tried to blame me for your error, yes, I do think I have to be "that way!"

It was at that point that she realized that a bicyclist has as many rights and responsibilities as she does, including having their rights on the same roads that she uses.

She got in her van, and floored the thing. I never saw her again, but I do wish I would have gotten her license plate #. She destroyed my bicycle, and 25 years later, I have severe arthritis in the shoulder that flew into the side of her van, and it is to the point where I will soon need a new shoulder!

Motorists use 'perceptual deception', which is a cousin to 'denial'. When they are sitting at an intersection, many people are looking for ANYTHING with 4 or more wheels, and they honestly will not allow themselves to see anything on 2 wheels.

- Michael