This is a clip of her final farewell, the story being told by Barbara Walters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5Y9PrQirvA
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Oprah was a pillar in my life. It would be an accurate statement to say that she has - on rare occasion - made statements that I personally thought could have been better phrased, or she missed an occasional opportunity, the good things she has accomplished, and the good deeds she has done makes any missteps pale in comparison. Another way of making that statement would be "She has accomplished far more good than any harm done on this planet." With lightning speed, I can spit out a list of names, like a machine gun, of people that I personally know well, and to which I cannot and will not apply the same statement.
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It doesn't matter one way or the other if you have had the same job, ate at the same restaurants or - God forbid! - worn the same clothes or had the same hair style for the past 25 years, one thing I can guarantee you is that the only thing that is consistent is change. As much as you might believe that you or anyone around you "hasn't changed a bit" since the last time you saw them, I am willing to place a wager on the fact that they have, indeed, changed in one way or another. Some of these changes might be immediately noticeable. If they are driving a new car, have a new hair style - more grey hair has replaced their youthful color - or they have gained or lost a few pounds are examples of immediately noticeable changes.
There are many more, generalized changes that might not be, upon casual inspection, so easily recognized. The most obscure would be on a cellular (not the phone!) level. Every day, your body is replacing old cells with new cells. Every day, your weight fluctuates - one way or the other. Those things happen every single day, and they vary and are dependent on your activity level.
Over the past 25 years - the entire duration of the Oprah Winfrey Show (since 1986, the year of my high school graduation!) - my place of employment, my place of residency and my personal friendships and relationships have changed drastically. My television watching habits tend to revolve and change around the other events that are taking place in my life. The time you work, sleep and play will all determine if and when you watch TV. Over the course of those 25 years, I have worked every shift available on the time clock, from day time hours to burning the midnight oil. Incidentally, I absolutely loathe working overnight shifts, and will never do it again.
There have been times in that quarter of a century that, by chance or by determination, Oprah and I have been in the same place at the same time, as so to speak. As previously stated, Oprah's show started the year I graduated High School. Because of a jacked-up religion that my parents pretended to belong to, I was not allowed to have a television in my home until I moved out of the house. Personally, I believe that watching TV, cutting your hair, wearing make-up or slacks, or having an occasional cocktail will **NOT** send you to Hell. Those restrictions are so placed to enforce control, and have nothing to do with your final destiny. Book it. Learn it - and go forth and live. This life is not a 'Dress Rehearsal'. Live it like you mean it, and live life with an urgency.
That, my friends, was my first purchase: A used TV, and one with knobs instead of buttons, and no remote control. My name is not "Mr. Money Bags", being a new high school graduate meant that I worked at a fast food restaurant for a number of years, and made money commensurate with that type of job. Cable TV was unaffordable at that time, and I was stuck with local Quincy, IL and Hannibal, MO channels (WGEM, etc).
I would like to believe that it was more than a matter of convenience that off-and-on, I have watched Oprah sporadically since her first show. I cannot and will not make the statement that I have never missed a show. In fact, in total, I am quite certain that I have missed YEARS of shows, HOWEVER.... I like my pillars to stay exactly where I originally left them, never moving.
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Incidentally, Judge Judy's autobiography is titled, "Don't Piss On My Leg, And Tell Me It's Raining"
Judge Judy, I concur!
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A good example of the crap that he occurring at an alarming rate is this story:
Let's use the government as an example. They 'break your legs', then they give you a pair of crutches and say, "There - aren't you thrilled that I gave you a nice pair of crutches!" My answer: "Uh - NO! I didn't want my legs broken in the first place, and I didn't want the crutches in the second place!"
Another good example is the remodeling of the Linnean House (a green house) at the Missouri Botanical Gardens. You **ALL** know that I visit the Missouri Botanical Gardens once or twice a week during the entire growing season, and several times through the fall / winter. I am a huge supporter of the Gardens. However, they have contracted the same 'disease' that I am describing in this blog. The Linnean House - the second oldest green house west of the Mississippi River has recently undergone renovations. BEFORE the renovations, this green house had a walkway going through the center of it, and camellia trees and bushes planted on either side of the walkway, the full thickness of the building. After an entire winter of renovations, this structure has reopened as it originally was - a part of the Missouri Botanical Gardens. I was one of the first to visit on the first day it was opened. I approached this renovation with an open, receptive mind. When I walked in, I noticed immediately that the entire RIGHT SIDE of the planting space was covered in brick pavers. Here is the gist of what happened: They ripped the place apart, and when they put it back together again, rather than replant it as it originally was, they took half of the plants away! No, people! NO! You are **NOT** doing me a favor or enhancing ANYTHING by taking something away from me, and giving me only half of what I originally had in the beginning! Making me worse in the end than I started in the beginning isn't helping or improving anything! Let's revisit that Judge Judy autobiography again:
""Don't Piss On My Leg, And Tell Me It's Raining"
This is just another symptom of how the world is turning in this era.
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Although 'I'm not going there', I have to wade out in the mire a bit to give you an accurate point of view.
From the time of my birth, I have not then nor do I now have strong family ties. It was Judge Judy Sheindlin (being a good Jewish woman!) that said, "Always stick by your family - UNLESS they bring you down! In that case, DUMP THEM!"
Baby, you don't have to tell me twice! 'Nuff said - and consider it done!
I have never had family support for anything I have ever attempted to do. EVER. Instead, they ooze jealousy and rudeness. I taught myself to play keyboards, and to read music. I taught myself to knit at an advanced level, to speak a foreign language, and I have bicycled back and forth across the state of Missouri (via the Katy Trail) 3 times. To make themselves feel better about being who they are - or are not - I often have lazy people try to brush off my accomplishments by saying, "Oh, you must be gifted, to have such talent!" I will answer with an unparallelled quickness, "Ma'am, the gifts I have received are not readily apparent, and are a by-product of the things that I have worked hard to achieve. I have been given **NO** gifts, and everything that you see before you is a result of hard work and determination, and nothing more."
I am blind in one eye, I have one arm that is 4" shorter than the other, and has severe nerve damage, I have skin that falls off, guts that fall out, (all!) my teeth have already fallen out, and I have a leg and a half - just to name a few. If I have, more or less, half a body, and I have accomplished the things that I have done and continue to accomplish, I am so inclined to think that someone that was born with fully functioning faculties should be able to do **TWICE** as much as I have accomplished, rather than very little or nothing at all - and make bad excuses for why they will not, not cannot, accomplish those things, and more.
Anywho - I have had no family support. Since birth, I have had to make my own surrogate support network by hitching my wagon to higher, brighter stars. Hindsight being 20 / 20, I am eternally grateful for having hitched my wagon to Oprah's star, and those around her (Dr. Phil, etc). As God is my witness, I solemnly swear that the life lessons and teachings of Oprah and Dr Phil, alone, have saved my life, and those around me! There is no doubt in my mind that without the guidance of these fine people, many years ago, some large man named "Bubba" would have happily made me his permanent girlfriend in prison! I would have killed more than one person by now, and that statement isn't a stretch of the imagination, by any means. My mother's first cousin is a semi-famous serial killer. There are also **lots** of thieves and other unsavory characters on that side of the family, so it should come as no surprise to any of my readers as to why I formally divorced my family. I, for one, do not live under the delusional cloud of, "Oh, you should always stick by your family." I am pretty sure that the families of Charles Manson, Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden don't miss them, either! You say, "Oh, it can't be that bad!" I say, "Just because Charles Manson didn't kill as many people as Adolph Hitler did doesn't warrant him a halo, if you know what I mean."
To continue my saga: I will readily admit that my life would be drastically different TODAY had it not been for Oprah and Dr. Phil being in my life. I can take the teachings and the example that they have taught me, go forward, and be perfectly thrilled that I have as much as that.
I cannot, however, help but feel a sense of abandonment. A complete loss, actually, in a funerary sort of sense.
It was once said of a Fabergé egg that "they come from an era that quality once was, is not now, and never will be again." The same can be applied to Oprah. Since history tends to speak for itself, I am inclined to think that if this quality is taken from me, what will I be given in turn? Better quality? Not likely. Please watch this next short clip from "Designing Women", to get the gist of my next statement (You are looking for the 1:20 point in this video, but you can also watch the entire video on YouTube to catch up:)
(RIP to Alice Ghostly and Dixie Carter - two more examples of quality from days gone by. Who, you will ask, is replacing these talented ladies? I know that you know what I mean. I am afraid that they are being replaced by the next "Brittany WHO????")
"Designing Women", "The Golden Girls" and "The Nanny", just to name a few sitcoms, come from an era that isn't too far in the distant past where comedy was more innocent and free-flowing than it is today. That, my friends, is another sign / symptom of deteriorating quality.
"Designing Women", "The Golden Girls" and "The Nanny", just to name a few sitcoms, come from an era that isn't too far in the distant past where comedy was more innocent and free-flowing than it is today. That, my friends, is another sign / symptom of deteriorating quality.
In response to "Will I be getting better quality, once THIS quality is gone?", I have only to say this:
Customer: "The fish...what kind of fish is it?"
Julia: "It's sort of compressed"
Customer: "Is it fresh?"
Julia: "Well, let me put it this way: You're in a 'Burger Guy', it's compressed, breaded and deep fried, and costs 89 cents. What do you think?"
The same statement can be applied to the fading quality of virtually anything being produced these days:
"It's 2011, the next-best-thing is what's on board, nobody cares, it's all about whatever makes the most $$ the fastest, about the quality: What do you think????"
While you have that clip pulled up, please look at 7:32, when the manager tells Julia that she is doing very well at her job, and that she might have a future at "Burger Guy University". After he walks away, she sarcastically mumbles, "Oh, that is just a dream come true!"
Much to the chagrin of those around me, I quote those 2 references quite often in my daily life.
It is in this era that teenagers are graduating high school with no real skills. Have you checked their grammar / spelling lately? I cannot and will not communicate with people who will not speak or type in complete sentences. Don't try to TEXT me. If you don't think I am worth the effort it takes to "Buy a Vowel", then don't bother me.
In the past, 8 year old girls were doing detailed samplers. You know - they were creating things that took real skill and talent. Now, they are on their own "Smart Phones", and have never been introduced to real talent or skill. I have a news bulletin: "THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GROW UP, AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE ONES PUSHING YOUR WHEELCHAIR!"
Can I just share with you Mark's little experience at the Doctor's office a couple months back? The nurse asked him to step on the scale to weigh him. He asked her if he should take off his jacket first. She said, "Sure - you can just hold it!" Was she not thinking that the jacket weighs the same whether it is on his back, or if he is holding it in his hand? Do YOU really want this woman drawing up a syringe, and giving YOU a shot? I am here to tell ya - the quality is **NOT** getting any better out there.
If for no other reason, this is why I go to every art fair in the St. Louis area during the spring / summer / fall.
You won't find any ducky-goosey craft crap at these fairs. These artists have worked years to fine tune their art. Some of my favorite art fair artists include (but are certainly not limited to:)
** Bruce Holwerda
(Click on the "Oldies But Goodies" gallery, and when you get the error message, click on "Take Me Back". The Gallery magically appears!)
http://store.bruceholwerda.com/
Look at the action happening in their heads!
**Betsy Youngquist
http://byart.com/galleries/byart_galleries.html
Betsy's work has won Best in Show at the St. Louis Art Fair - one of the best in the country. She uses glass eyes, doll heads, arms / legs that were "seconds" that were found buried beside a doll factory. Her sculptures are covered in beads.
Another by Betsy (one of my favorites! A bunny body, and a doll's head):
Marc Sijan:
LOOK AT THESE SCULPTURES!
More of Marc's images:
http://tinyurl.com/MarcBlog2
These are just a very few samples of *quality* whose status is changing from "Vulnerable" to becoming a "Critically Endangered" species.
While we are on the subject of quality, let's visit a commonly used electronic device: The MP3 player. Five (5) years ago, I purchased a 2 gig MP3 player - an iRiver. This device straps onto your arm via an arm band, and still has a visible screen. I won't even entertain the thought of owning an MP3 player that has just one button, and no visible screen. My MP3 player cost $165 for just 2 gigs. As a reference, I just went to Best Buy's website, and found an MP3 player with 8 gig (4 times the memory of the one I use daily!) for $49.00. I paid $120 more, for 1/4 as much memory!
::::HOWEVER:::: Sitting on this desk beside me are 4 (four) MP3 players that Mark has purchased in the past few years, from a few months ago to a few years ago. He has used the FOUR players a combined total of less than 2 hours. I use mine a half an hour every-other day, and all day long when I was tour bicycling. These things that he has purchased all have "internal rechargeable batteries", and the charges on them lasts just a few minutes, at most, before needing to be recharged. In my MP3 player, I use batteries that my digital camera have already deemed 'spent', and they don't even have enough juice to power-up the camera one more time. I save these AA batteries, and use them in my MP3 player. Remember - I use this MP3 player for 30 - 45 minutes every-other day. The 'spent' batteries last another SIX MONTHS each in my MP3 player! Here is the comparison: Mark's four MP3 players all have 'rechargeable' batteries, and can't hold a charge for more than a few minutes. **MY** MP3 player uses 'spent' or 'second-hand' batteries, and I use them for 6 months before finally discarding them. The point I am making here is: My old, more expensive and weaker (memory size) equipment is STILL being used regularly, and is of better quality than the current MP3 players. Please let me reassure you that it will be a cold day in May in Georgia before I trade my equipment in for the LESSER quality of the equipment being produced today.
This blog could go on for days, but in the immortal words of Sophia Petrillo ("The Golden Girls"):
"But, I digress!"
The following is just a tiny list of a few things that I have learned through the Oprah Winfrey show:
Oprah Winfrey:
1) "Forgiveness is not a gift for the perpetrator. Forgiveness is a gift for the GIVER. Forgiveness is coming to the realization that the past is not going to be any different."
2) "Wow! I never thought of it that way!"
3) (Oprah has always been a big fan of "The Wizard of Oz", and Glenda's quote, "You have always had the power within you to do whatever you want to accomplish."
Deep down inside my tough little heart, even though I hate to fight for *anything*, from the moment of my birth, if I am forced to, I will fight my way out of a corner.
I was 18 yrs. old when Oprah's first show aired. I knew from the time I was a small child that if I wanted anything, **I** was going to have to do it for myself. If I wanted talent, I would have to spend the time and energy to hone that skill. I learned that there is nothing "too fancy" for me, for I deserve the best. I will let no person tell me otherwise. If I wanted to look good, I would have to preen myself. I was not surrounded by people who valued (or values!) these attributes. I have an acute appreciation for fine detail and craftsmanship. Laziness and Jealousy are close bedfellows, one feeds off the other, and both are characteristics of people who do not value these attributes.
It takes hard work and determination to hone a talent, to keep well groomed, and to continue to actively explore your world. The gifts I have been given are not readily apparent to anyone but myself. My musical abilities are not the result of a "God given gift or talent." People tend to use that phrase as a brush-off, or as a weak excuse to not do the work involved themselves. I am not a patient person, people. I will tell people that I have no patience. "Patience" is for people who want to sit around and wait for something to happen. "Perseverance" is a trait that I harbor that allows me to get up off my duff and "GET IT DONE!" Perseverance is the word, people - not Patience.
Several years ago, I had to make a conscious choice: If the time ever comes that I need my family for whatever type of assistance that I may require, should I keep them near me, and tolerate the battery acid that they spew in the general direction of anyone that gets splattered, or do I 'wing it' and tip-toe through the world on my own, with a "que sera, que sera" attitude. Let me reassure you, dear readers, that the choice and the outcomes of my decisions are never really that easy, nor are they that 'cut and dried."
To some degree or other, I live my life at some level of constant fear or apprehension. "What if...."
"What if...something would happen to Mark? What would happen to me, the house and the "kids"?
"What if....I would finally become wheelchair bound, and require an increased level of personal care?"
"What if....?"
"What if....?"
"What if...?"
I had to make a choice not unlike Shelby's choice in the movie "Steel Magnolia's", when she realized that she was pregnant, and that even though she could get pregnant, the pregnancy would tax her body to the point that it would kill her:
"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
I had to make the choice between having non-guaranteed support, and of living a life where I merely exist in a tight, constricted world around people who have ulterior motives with little or no ambition, or teeter through life on my own, and enjoy a life that is as filled up with as much vitality as I can possibly squeeze in 24 hours.
The physical challenges that exist in my body have made my choice a bit easier, in fact. I view living my life as a form of "Currency". How much (effort, money, pain and other challenges) does it take for you to live your life from day to day? Those that manage to live their lives with less effort, have a lot of money, virtually no pain, etc, might not pay a lot 'upfront'. Their lives come at a lower cost. I have had severe arthritis since birth. I am on disability, and I have multiple birth defects. The price I pay to live my life is a bit more steep than some folks. Granted, there are people who pay a higher price than my own - a much higher price, in fact. If you will allow yourself for one second, to change your point of view, you will see that those who pay a higher price (I am talking about more than financially here, folks) to live their lives tend to be the ones that enjoy their lives the most. We want to get more for our currency - more for our "money!"
Therefore - I made the choice to surround myself with a FEW people that brighten and enhance my life, rather than surround myself with MANY people who do have no desire to beautify the world in any way.
Consider this quote from George Washington Carver:
"No individual has any right to come into this world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it"
Those are words to live by, people. That finger isn't pointed at me, alone. I'm pretty sure it covers you, too!
Here is another quote from George Washington Carver:
"Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater."
And one from Mark Twain:
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
To make a long story even longer, before Oprah came on the scene, while she was doing her work, and after she is finished, I have always and will always know that I have had the power within myself to do the best at the things that I desire to master, and to live the best life that I can possibly muster the energy to do so. I didn't need Oprah, Dr. Phil, Maya Angelo, or anybody else to tell me how to do so, but knowing someone out there "has my back" holds a lot of value in my heart. When they are no longer there, I feel threatened, vulnerable and exposed more than I find comfortable. If you know me well at all, you will know that I am very comfortable being exposed, and being myself. IF I come to the conclusion that I am over-exposed to the point where I feel that I need to say something about it, I am horribly uncomfortable.
Quotes from Dr. Phil McGraw:
1) "Rise above your raising!"
(Get his book "Life Strategies" - that book will cover this category nicely.)
Maya Angelo - our own St. Louis native:
1) "You did what you knew to do. When you knew better, you did better."
2) "When someone tells us who he (she!) is, ALWAYS listen to them! If they are telling you that they are a bad person, through their words or through their actions, it is best that you BELIEVE them!"
Those are off the top of my head. Entire books have been written on their quotes. I suggest you seek out those books, and read them for yourselves. A good place to start is Dr. Phil's "Life Strategies" book. I would be in a very different place in my life at this very moment, had it not been for the forces of these 3 people in my life. Now you can clearly see why I don't like them taken from me. When the quality is taken away, I am left with the crap, and that, my friends, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
- Michael
