This little event could not have happened at a more appropriate time!
I believe I hear the steam whistle and the clanging bell of the train that is making it's once-a-year trip through the movie 'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer' to the Isle of Misfit Toys. This train is booked for frequent stops, but I would like to add one more stop - my house! She'll be comin' round the bend when she comes!
Last night, Mark went a couple blocks to Schnucks (local St. Louis grocery store chain) to get supper. He wasn't gone more than 15 minutes. He wasn't more than a minute out the door, and the bulldoggie, Sherman Peepin' Steven Burglar - Don't ask / don't tell! (AKA Sherman or Peeper!) started barking furiously from the back of the house.
Moments earlier, I had let the 2 larger dogs, Amanda, Yellow lab / Chow mix and Denver, black lab / Sher Pei mix out into the back yard to go potty.. The entire yard (1 acre) is fenced in, and the fence has a hedge of bush honeysuckle growing around the entire perimeter of the yard. Our back yard butts up immediately adjacent to Interstate 40, and wraps 1/4 around our subdivision as the highway takes a turn. A half a block south of our subdivision,
The first of 3 visual aids:
The white box in the middle of this pic is my back yard. We do have a chain link fence completely surrounding the back yard, as well as the huge sound barrier wall along I-40. On the right-hand side of the pic is Warson Rd - a major thoroughfare. Then you will note Clayton Road - very, very busy, indeed. The interstate that borders our subdivision is self-explanatory, and there is Lindbergh Blvd. to the north (left). It defies all explanation that ANY wildlife whatsoever can survive to get in our yard. Considering the man-made barriers (the interstate, major roads and streets, and a completely closed in chain link fence!), West County St. Louis is famous for two plants, in particular: 1) Winter Creeper and 2) Bush honeysuckle. The winter creeper is a vine that grows quickly, and will overtake anything, particularly trees, in it's path. The bush honey suckel grows so thick that even a small dog would have trouble finding his way through the thicket.
The moral of this part of the saga is: "How is it possible that ANY wildlife can get into our back yard, with the lone exception of small birds that can fly quite some distance?"
Needless to say, we have more than our fair share of squirrels, and a large colony of chipmunks that we share our 1 acre with. Some time in late November, on one of those wonderful rare, balmy nights, I heard an owl outside our window. We live 3 miles from the large St. Louis Galleria Mall - , and a good 20 + miles before any true wilderness or forested areas become the common feature of the land. A few weeks before that, our dogs started backing furiously - glaring out the patio doors in the great room. I jumped up and ran to see what was disturbing the peace. Two large turkeys were looking back at me - too startled to move for a moment! They were IN the back yard! How can that be possible? Turkeys are known to be poor flyers. The could not have possibly come across any of the major traffic arteries surrounding our home and have expected to live through the adventure! I had a choice: keep the dogs in the house, and let them tear the crap out of the house, trying to get out and chase the turkeys, or let them out into the back yard. I slid that door open, and all 4 dogs charged across the back yard in one pack. Those turkeys took off in a fast sprint towards the back fence, and thus - I-40! Since I didn't hear any screeching tires or deadly crashes, and we didn't find any turkey innards on the shoulder of the interstate the next day, I think they somehow found their way to safety. Personally, I can't imagine the shock of being a piss-poor flyer, in the first place - and flying over a sound barrier (leaving a heavily wooded area), and immediately flying over a very busy interstate!
Anywho... We have also been confronted TWICE with deer. Once, a deer was trying to climb over the fence AND through the very thick bush honey suckle to get IN the back yard. Are ya nuts? The second deer - just a couple weeks back - did make it into the back yard. Once again, the dogs were letting me know that they were barking at more than "just a squirrel". I initially couldn't see what had got their attention. I mean - how big can an animal be that has to squeeze through the thicket, through chain-link fence, and across some of the busiest thoroughfares in the area - and already 20 miles into a metropolitan area? You guessed it! This time, Mrs. Deer made it over the fence, through the bush honeysuckle, and into the yard...but...I didn't see her until the dogs were already chasing her across the yard and towards the sound barriers along the highway! OMG, indeed! Since that brush was so thick, the only place for her to go would be to attempt to jump the sound barrier. Do you know what's on the other side of that barrier! 200,000 cars a day moving at 60+ MPH! Once again, I didn't hear any crashes or tires skidding, but I honestly don't know what became of her!
(The end of Chapter 1 ...he he he)
Onward!
At any rate, last night, Mark went to the Schnucks (near the intersection of Lindbergh and I-40, in the map, above) to get supper. He wasn't gone more than a minute, and the 2 larger dogs wanted to go outside for a while. I let them out, and returned to my chair to attempt to knit a leaf to attach to a knitted flower. I was 30 seconds into my concentration when Sherman (mean looking bulldoggie!) was standing in the entrance between the great room and the kitchen, in the back of the house. When this particular breed of bulldog decides to announce an intruder, the announcement is not quiet and polite! It is a mix between a bark and a roar! It is shocking to many people, and many other bulldog's barks are very high-pitched and down right yappy! Yes - the mascot of the US Marines YAPS instead of BARKS! :)
Sherman Peeper was in full-on attack mode and stance. Roar / Barking, front legs spread to steady his beefy self, and he absolutely would not enter the great room. I even tried to push him, and he resisted! We are just far enough away from downtown St. Louis, and far enough off the beaten path to keep vagrants and people on foot out of our area. I knew it wasn't a person that he was barking at. Knowing that the 2 larger dogs were outside that room and in the back yard, I was fairly confident that there was no wildlife out there, either. What could he be barking at so furiously?
I keep 5 gallon buckets outside underneath the roof line to catch rain water. I can water my houseplants that I keep outside in the summer for 2 weeks from the water that I catch on a good downpour. This portion of our house was built in Frank Lloyd Wright style, and without gutters. The water runs off the back of the house in one big sheet, and if I don't have my handy buckets in place, it splashes down on a bed of pea gravel to allow run off. When nighttime temps threaten to go below 55, I bring in my tropical house plants, only leaving the pineapples and the Cherimoya tree outside until the temps dip in the lower 40's at night, then they come in for the winter, too. I use my empty 5 gallon buckets to sit the plants on to keep the "kids" from eating them! I didn't need one of the buckets, so I left it out under the eaves. We had a couple good rains before the temps turned bitterly cold, and the last bucket that was still full of water froze solid. The ice was already bulging above the rim of the bucket, I believe that another good freeze might crack and ruin my trusty, useful bucket. was waiting for a day that was in the 30's to allow the water to melt just a bit, so I could dump out the 5 gallon chunk of ice without it sticking in the bucket and giving me trouble. I will spare you the details, but I never wear clothes in the house, and only on the coldest of days to I wear a simple robe around the house. About 5:30 PM last night, I was in my snug little robe, and decided that I could step outside quickly to dump the ice out of the bucket - step back inside when it was all over, and the entire maneuver shouldn't take more than 10 seconds. Presto! I dumped that ice out so fast that I didn't get goosebumps on ANYTHING! :) My other goal in this exercise was to dump the ice out carefully, so as to preserve it's form - so I could watch it melt and Mother Nature take her course. This is a photo of the subject at hand:
Look at that lower lipper! He might be deathly afraid of a chunk of ice, but he does know how to cover himself up with his comforter!
I have his ticket ready for the Isle of Misfit Toys.. My mean baby is broken. He is not mean at all. Tell the conductor to make a stop at the Kirkwood Train Station. I will make sure he doesn't miss his boarding time! WHOOO HOOOO! ALL ABOARD!!!
- Michael
I believe I hear the steam whistle and the clanging bell of the train that is making it's once-a-year trip through the movie 'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer' to the Isle of Misfit Toys. This train is booked for frequent stops, but I would like to add one more stop - my house! She'll be comin' round the bend when she comes!
Last night, Mark went a couple blocks to Schnucks (local St. Louis grocery store chain) to get supper. He wasn't gone more than 15 minutes. He wasn't more than a minute out the door, and the bulldoggie, Sherman Peepin' Steven Burglar - Don't ask / don't tell! (AKA Sherman or Peeper!) started barking furiously from the back of the house.
Moments earlier, I had let the 2 larger dogs, Amanda, Yellow lab / Chow mix and Denver, black lab / Sher Pei mix out into the back yard to go potty.. The entire yard (1 acre) is fenced in, and the fence has a hedge of bush honeysuckle growing around the entire perimeter of the yard. Our back yard butts up immediately adjacent to Interstate 40, and wraps 1/4 around our subdivision as the highway takes a turn. A half a block south of our subdivision,
The first of 3 visual aids:
The white box in the middle of this pic is my back yard. We do have a chain link fence completely surrounding the back yard, as well as the huge sound barrier wall along I-40. On the right-hand side of the pic is Warson Rd - a major thoroughfare. Then you will note Clayton Road - very, very busy, indeed. The interstate that borders our subdivision is self-explanatory, and there is Lindbergh Blvd. to the north (left). It defies all explanation that ANY wildlife whatsoever can survive to get in our yard. Considering the man-made barriers (the interstate, major roads and streets, and a completely closed in chain link fence!), West County St. Louis is famous for two plants, in particular: 1) Winter Creeper and 2) Bush honeysuckle. The winter creeper is a vine that grows quickly, and will overtake anything, particularly trees, in it's path. The bush honey suckel grows so thick that even a small dog would have trouble finding his way through the thicket.
The moral of this part of the saga is: "How is it possible that ANY wildlife can get into our back yard, with the lone exception of small birds that can fly quite some distance?"
Needless to say, we have more than our fair share of squirrels, and a large colony of chipmunks that we share our 1 acre with. Some time in late November, on one of those wonderful rare, balmy nights, I heard an owl outside our window. We live 3 miles from the large St. Louis Galleria Mall - , and a good 20 + miles before any true wilderness or forested areas become the common feature of the land. A few weeks before that, our dogs started backing furiously - glaring out the patio doors in the great room. I jumped up and ran to see what was disturbing the peace. Two large turkeys were looking back at me - too startled to move for a moment! They were IN the back yard! How can that be possible? Turkeys are known to be poor flyers. The could not have possibly come across any of the major traffic arteries surrounding our home and have expected to live through the adventure! I had a choice: keep the dogs in the house, and let them tear the crap out of the house, trying to get out and chase the turkeys, or let them out into the back yard. I slid that door open, and all 4 dogs charged across the back yard in one pack. Those turkeys took off in a fast sprint towards the back fence, and thus - I-40! Since I didn't hear any screeching tires or deadly crashes, and we didn't find any turkey innards on the shoulder of the interstate the next day, I think they somehow found their way to safety. Personally, I can't imagine the shock of being a piss-poor flyer, in the first place - and flying over a sound barrier (leaving a heavily wooded area), and immediately flying over a very busy interstate!
Anywho... We have also been confronted TWICE with deer. Once, a deer was trying to climb over the fence AND through the very thick bush honey suckle to get IN the back yard. Are ya nuts? The second deer - just a couple weeks back - did make it into the back yard. Once again, the dogs were letting me know that they were barking at more than "just a squirrel". I initially couldn't see what had got their attention. I mean - how big can an animal be that has to squeeze through the thicket, through chain-link fence, and across some of the busiest thoroughfares in the area - and already 20 miles into a metropolitan area? You guessed it! This time, Mrs. Deer made it over the fence, through the bush honeysuckle, and into the yard...but...I didn't see her until the dogs were already chasing her across the yard and towards the sound barriers along the highway! OMG, indeed! Since that brush was so thick, the only place for her to go would be to attempt to jump the sound barrier. Do you know what's on the other side of that barrier! 200,000 cars a day moving at 60+ MPH! Once again, I didn't hear any crashes or tires skidding, but I honestly don't know what became of her!
(The end of Chapter 1 ...he he he)
Onward!
At any rate, last night, Mark went to the Schnucks (near the intersection of Lindbergh and I-40, in the map, above) to get supper. He wasn't gone more than a minute, and the 2 larger dogs wanted to go outside for a while. I let them out, and returned to my chair to attempt to knit a leaf to attach to a knitted flower. I was 30 seconds into my concentration when Sherman (mean looking bulldoggie!) was standing in the entrance between the great room and the kitchen, in the back of the house. When this particular breed of bulldog decides to announce an intruder, the announcement is not quiet and polite! It is a mix between a bark and a roar! It is shocking to many people, and many other bulldog's barks are very high-pitched and down right yappy! Yes - the mascot of the US Marines YAPS instead of BARKS! :)
Sherman Peeper was in full-on attack mode and stance. Roar / Barking, front legs spread to steady his beefy self, and he absolutely would not enter the great room. I even tried to push him, and he resisted! We are just far enough away from downtown St. Louis, and far enough off the beaten path to keep vagrants and people on foot out of our area. I knew it wasn't a person that he was barking at. Knowing that the 2 larger dogs were outside that room and in the back yard, I was fairly confident that there was no wildlife out there, either. What could he be barking at so furiously?
I keep 5 gallon buckets outside underneath the roof line to catch rain water. I can water my houseplants that I keep outside in the summer for 2 weeks from the water that I catch on a good downpour. This portion of our house was built in Frank Lloyd Wright style, and without gutters. The water runs off the back of the house in one big sheet, and if I don't have my handy buckets in place, it splashes down on a bed of pea gravel to allow run off. When nighttime temps threaten to go below 55, I bring in my tropical house plants, only leaving the pineapples and the Cherimoya tree outside until the temps dip in the lower 40's at night, then they come in for the winter, too. I use my empty 5 gallon buckets to sit the plants on to keep the "kids" from eating them! I didn't need one of the buckets, so I left it out under the eaves. We had a couple good rains before the temps turned bitterly cold, and the last bucket that was still full of water froze solid. The ice was already bulging above the rim of the bucket, I believe that another good freeze might crack and ruin my trusty, useful bucket. was waiting for a day that was in the 30's to allow the water to melt just a bit, so I could dump out the 5 gallon chunk of ice without it sticking in the bucket and giving me trouble. I will spare you the details, but I never wear clothes in the house, and only on the coldest of days to I wear a simple robe around the house. About 5:30 PM last night, I was in my snug little robe, and decided that I could step outside quickly to dump the ice out of the bucket - step back inside when it was all over, and the entire maneuver shouldn't take more than 10 seconds. Presto! I dumped that ice out so fast that I didn't get goosebumps on ANYTHING! :) My other goal in this exercise was to dump the ice out carefully, so as to preserve it's form - so I could watch it melt and Mother Nature take her course. This is a photo of the subject at hand:
Back to the wildly bark / roaring, highly pissed off, fearful bulldoggie! We know that there couldn't have been any unsavory characters in the great room or outside - those bases have already been covered. I am here to tell you that I couldn't not get this little butchy man to go into the great room, much less outside to go potty with the others.. Eventually, with his thick neck as stretched out as he could ("I want my head a little closer to the villain, but I want to keep the rest of my body away from it and as safe as possible!"), he mustered up enough cajones (Ka - Ho - nes!) to approach the glass of the sliding doors. The other dogs were already outside - what the hell can he be looking at that bothers him so much. Have I told you that for 15 minutes, he never stopped barking / roaring?
I opened the back door quickly. The other dogs ran back inside - but he would NOT go out! All the encouraging and shoving wouldn't budge him! What was this tuffie barking at? The intruder is in the picture immediately above these 2 paragraphs - a chunk of ICE! GOOD GOD, GERTIE! If I take a piece of aluminum foil and crunch it a bit, he will tuck tail and run out of the kitchen. Every Tuesday (trash day!) is hell for this poor baby! I have to put a new trash bag in the trash pail. When I shake the bag in he air to full extend the bag before I put it in the can, he is outta there in a split second! This 'mean' bulldog is afraid of the weirdest things...anything that moves or makes sound! Thankfully, he doesn't panic when I play my keyboards. He can most often be found in the mornings sleeping right beside one of my Leslie speakers, or in the music room with me at any time when I am practicing.
Back to the story at hand.... I had to wait until Mark got home from shopping (15 minutes). I told him why his "baby" was barking so furiously in the back of the house. Mark went out in the back yard, and Sherman VERY reluctantly followed him - until Mark took a step towards the chunk of ice. Sherman shot out of there like a torpedo leaving a submarine. He ran halfway across the back yard before he thought he was safe from that "Ice Monster". Mark spend the next 10 minutes trying to coax Sherman closer. Sherman trusts NOTHING, but he does trust us. Slowly, and after several attempts, Sherman did work up the courage enough to come to Mark, who was standing immediately next to the ice creature! Sherman VERY skeptically sniffed the ice once. We both could see the wheels turning in his head. The look on his face said, "Oh, is THAT what it was all about? It's just ICE!" Then he sniffed again. The look changed to, "I am so embarrassed that I wasted so much energy worrying about a chunk of ice! Then - he started running by the ice, playing with the other dogs, and completely ignoring that it was even there. I thought we might have to have a re-introduction this morning when he went out to potty for the first time, but nope. Even though he is literally often afraid of his own shadow (honestly!), he is a pretty smart cookie once he gets it all figured out to his own satisfaction. Here is Mr. "Meanie". I'm tellin' ya - with Bulldogs, it is 'All just a look!"
I have his ticket ready for the Isle of Misfit Toys.. My mean baby is broken. He is not mean at all. Tell the conductor to make a stop at the Kirkwood Train Station. I will make sure he doesn't miss his boarding time! WHOOO HOOOO! ALL ABOARD!!!
- Michael
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