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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Black Friday.. The Blackest!


"Black Friday", a 1975 song by Steely Dan:





First and foremost, I will admit that I love Macy's.  The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is a must-watch for me on Thanksgiving morning.  That is one tradition that I have faithfully upheld since I escaped the house that I was raised in, and moved out on my own. (That is a long story, which is another blog for another day!)  You will have to trust me when I tell you that my parents were ass-backwards, and I did not have a television in my home until I was 18 years old, which was when I moved out of the house, and I bought my own television.  **EVERYTHING**  that I now know about pre-1986 television AND secular music, I have had to learn after the fact, and I had to learn on my own.

Anywho.... back to "Black Friday".

Macy's is opening their doors at 12:00 PM Midnight, Friday morning.  They aren't the only store to do such foolishness. I heard that Kohl's was committing the same act.

If you're opening your doors to shoppers at 12:00 AM, why the Hell even close at all?

When we combine greed with our #1 need (acceptance), the outcome is a toxic brew, indeed.

Yes, I am going out on Friday.  I am going to St. Louis' old Crestwood Mall ("The Art Mall"), and I am stopping by the adjacent Guitar Center to see if there are any bargains that I can't pass up.  Today, I am rearranging my music studio, and I might need some more cables to complete the connections.

HOWEVER.....

Right here and right now, I will swear to you that I have *NEVER*, and I mean *NEVER* bought anything from a "Black Friday" sale.  And I never intend to do so in the future.  Why not, you ask?  The answer is simple:

First:

I am secure enough in myself that I do not need the 'latest, greatest' gadget to feel accepted by my peers, or to feel complete.  I can make myself feel everything I need to feel, and without outside efforts.  Additionally, the things that I now have in my possession work nicely, thank you..

Second:

I have worked diligently to make sure that I do not feed into current 'trends', especially those that assist in feeding the ravenous pigs: Retailers.

Third:

By feeding into this silly frenzy, you are encouraging retailers to further abuse their staff.  I mean. C'mon.  Really!  There aren't too many employees that are willing to say, "Sure!  I want to go to bed on Thanksgiving day at 3:00 PM, because I have to be at work at Midnight for some stupid sale to make you (the retailer) more money!"

Retailers:  You should hope and pray that there is no such thing as an 'afterlife'.  If there is an afterlife, I would love to be a 'fly on the wall' when you are being judged for the way you mismanaged innocent employee's time, only to feed your never ending greed.

Fourth:

After *I* die, as an example, I personally do not want to have to rationalize how I spent my only non-renewable resource:  Time.

Did you spend that time wisely and efficiently, or did you wait in long lines - in the dark - for an item that will be obsolete in a year an a half/. (And.... you could have spent your time more wisely by shopping during normal shopping hours (avoiding lines), and spending your money more wisely on a better quality item that was NOT a part of the Black Friday sale, but one which has more features, and is of better quality.  Sure.  You will spend more money on the better item, but you only have to spend it ONCE.  If you buy an item that will be obsolete in a year and a half, you will be spending more money then.  (Which will make you more of a sucker,  while simultaneously thrilling the ravenous retail pigs!)  As another example, I have a Harmon / Kardon GPS that I finally had to replace this year.  This GPS is 5 years old, and the only reason I had to replace it is that it has a faulty plug.  **5 years**, I said.   I also have my original MP3 player: 7 years old, and I use it daily.  On the other hand, Mark has 4 MP3 players sitting on this very desk that he has spend much more $$ on, and they have a much larger memory capacity than the one I bought 7 years ago. HOWEVER.... they won't hold a batter charge for more than a few minutes. Therefore, all 4 of them are sitting on this desk.  They are unused, and are taking up space....and they are annoying me.  I will continue to use the 7 year old MP3 player that I continue to use on a daily basis.  Incidentally, I only use size AA batteries in this MP3 player that I first 'depleted' in my camera.  I wait until the camera will no longer switch on (because the batteries are so low) before I replace them.  Then.... I take these batteries and use them in my MP3 player. ONE battery that is supposedly spent will last me 4 - 6 months of daily use in m MP3 player.  These 'new' MP3 players that Mark has sitting on my desk can't hold a charge for 10 minutes.  What gives?  I can't tell you what gives, but I can tell you what takes!  Ravenous retail pigs.  I guess I really do know what gives.  Gullible shoppers who are too lazy to think for themselves, and those that think they have to buy the 'latest, greatest' thing to 'fit in'.  You can fit in WITHOUT IT, and you most likely don't need it!


If you will, please allow yourself to think of it this way:

If not one, and I mean *not one* person would walk into any of these silly retailers until normal shopping hours (and if the shoppers  would refuse to wait in long lines for hours!), with 100% accuracy, I can guarantee you that these retailers would not do this foolishness one more year.  Not once more!  They will stop doing the behavior if the shoppers will stop feeding the ravenous pigs!

- Michael




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