If it limps like a duck....

I face the same thing when I go to a new doctor.  

I tell them:

"What do you want me to do to make myself look sick enough or gimpy enough?  Should I take my teeth out, wear my big thick glasses, wear rags, and never groom myself?  Just because I'm not sitting in a wheel chair (all the time!), I might not have my brace on my leg at this very moment, nor do I have on my big, thick, crooked, dirty glasses - and neither am I slobbering all over myself.  If that's what it takes to make you believe my pain, I can either go home and make a quick change, or you can get over yourself and your stereotypes.  Maybe this IS Burger King, and you might be able to 'have it your way', after all.  Which do you choose?"

The ensuing big eyes and agape mouths are priceless.

I have had to change doctors - a couple times - because I am an Essence / Medicare patient, and they accustomed to seeing old people in their waiting rooms, rather than somebody hip and fairly young.

I am experiencing this same type of grief even as we speak with a new rheumatologist.  Just a couple days ago, he blew me off because I looked more 'hip' than the amount of damage in my neck (cervical spine) that showed up on X-rays.

When his nurse called me at home with "We see some "mild degenerative changes" (translated: arthritis) in your neck, but he doesn't want to do.......  "

I cut her off, and told her that I take muscle relaxers, use a TENS unit, and I use a cervical traction unit, I am currently in physical therapy, I take Meloxicam AND over 3,000 mg of ibuprophen a day and all that crap barely scratches the surface.  If Dr. Don (Irl Don - that's his real name!) can't OR won't help me, tell him to please put me in contact with a doctor who can and will!" 

She called me back (Actually, they called the wrong number, and left the message on Mark's voice mail - because his phone number is just one number different from mine!), telling me that he ordered Prednisone for 10 days and I have an MRI scheduled for Wednesday.

I'm far from 'out of the woods'.  With Psoratic Arthritis, there never is an "out of the woods', but the Prednisone calmed down this particular flare-up.  Now, I'm begging them to call Essence to have them 'bump me up' from Meloxicam to Celebrex.  With insurance, a month's supply of Celebrex is $35.  WITHOUT insurance, my out-of-pocket expense is $550 a month.

I'm a nurse.  I'm on the inside.  And with the lone exception of my primary care provider, I HATE THESE DAMNED STEREOTYPICAL DOCTORS! 

- Michael