True story:
Yesterday, we went shopping. While walking through through the store to get the 2 items that I intended to purchase, I asked Mark:
"Can you imagine the look on the cashier's face when he / she sees that *I* am buying only Monistat 7 and a couple Zucchini squash?"
After a pause and a "I'm thinking" look crossed his face, he laughed.
I had to play the part. I couldn't pass up such a good opportunity.
I laid the Monistat 7 and the zucchini down on the counter in front of the cashier, and as I did so, I flashed her a cheesy smile, and with a pseudo-bashful move, I ducked my head slightly; Then I winked at her.
(I have never seen this range of emotions cross another person's face in such a short amount of time!)
For a fraction of a second, a troubled, disturbed look shot across her face before she caught herself, and she regained composure by blinking rapidly a few times, and trying to force a smile.
Pretending that I wasn't expecting her reaction, I quickly said, "Oh, oh! This Monistat 7 and these Zucchini aren't for me - they're FOR MY DOGS!"
That plastic, forced smile that was on her face then turned into sheer, assaulted disgust and horror!
(It was at that time that I thought I was going to wet myself!)
After I enjoyed her reaction for a couple seconds, I explained further:
"Two of my dogs have yeast infections in their ears. Vinegar washes help some, but this Monistat should give better results at beating their yeast infections. My 11 yr. old pug is blind, and he refuses to eat unless he has several slices of raw zucchini cut up in his food every morning."
The cashier was still a bit troubled about using Monistat for yeast infections in dog's ears and that a dog would even care about eating zucchini, but I think I avoided the inevitable phone call that she was going to make to the ASPCA!
- Michael
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