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Friday, April 12, 2013

I'll Do ANYTHING For My Art! (Channeling a 'Meatloaf' song!)


My cell phone rings.

Even though I was hobbling quickly to get me AND the cell phone out of the living room, and away from Conrad (!!) - my 18 yr. old, well-versed African Grey parrot.

I pushed "Talk" before I could get far enough away from him.

The very fraction of a second that I press "Talk", Conrad - without fail - always 'answers' the phone for me. This time, instead of his usual "Hello?", he gets creative and changes it up a bit with a loud, precise and perfectly clear:

"YES, WHORE ???" (his favorite noun!)

Before I could get a word in edge-wise, I heard a humble, defeated, small feminine voice on the other end of line whispering weakly, "Oh, my God! What just happened?"

It was a lady from the St. Louis Art Museum wanting me to renew my yearly membership.

The sad fact is that, in this case, the $ that I spend on my membership is almost equal to the $ that I would spend going to the special exhibits and paying cash to get in. I always renew my Missouri Botanical Gardens membership, because I get hundreds of dollars per yer more out of it than the $65 I paid for it.

Poor lady. She's having a bad day. She got called a whore by a mouthy parrot - and she didn't even make a sale!

- Michael

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