The Power of PEE!

The Power of PEE!

Last night, while attenting the Air & Art Festival in the clean little St. Louis 'burb of Webster Groves, MO, I had 2 beers.  By *no* means am I an active beer drinker, but I do like to have a beer or a glass of wine while schmoozing.  

Even though this event was less than 8 miles from our home, I decided to use one of the available Porta Potties before I left the venue.

I had used one of these facilities a couple hours earlier in the evening, and I noted that for such a large crowd, the waiting time in line wasn't more than a couple short minutes.  There was an adequate number of potties per attendee.

When I approached the bank of 15 potties (and there were probably a total of 45 for the entire venue), I headed straight for one of the johns before I noticed that, had I continued, I would have been butting in front of an uncomfortably long line.  Because I had not seen a line earlier in the evening, I wasn't expecting a line to be formed at this time, either.

I noticed my own faux pas before anybody had a chance to speak up and say something about my error, and I politely stepped to the back of the line.

And I waited.... And I waited.  After an uncomfortably long wait, I noted that out of the 15 green and red 'occupied / unoccupied' indicators on the doors, *all* of the indicators were 'red = occupied', with the lone exception of the first and last potties in this string of 15.  The other 13 pottied had the red 'occupied' indicator showing.  

Anybody that has attended functions with strips of these potties will know that you usually can hear the doors of the potties banging at a consistent rate, and the waiting line continues to creep slowly forward.  

On this particular evening, only the first and last door saw any action at all.  The 13 doors in the middle had NOT MOVED in the 10 minutes that I was standing in line.  

After making a few comments such as, "I have seen MUCH longer potty lines at Mardi Gras move MUCH Faster!", I decided to take action.  Why the Hell the other 15 people in front of me didn't do something about the situation before I arrived sure beats the Hell out of me!

I was dressed in my normal garb.  I told the man standing behind me, and the sheepish woman standing in FRONT of me, "Hold my place in line!  I'm going to check doors!"

They laughed to see such a sport! (Remember:  I'm a nurse - I've seen every shape, size and color of everybody's everything!)

I went to the strip of potties, and I skipped the first potty. I knew a small girl just walked into that one, and it was being used as it should be.
FOR THE NEXT 12 potties, I opened the door WIDE, looked inside, and exclaimed to the waiting crowd behind me, "Unoccupied!  NEXT!" (opened the next door)... "Unoccupied! Next!", and I continued the process for 12 doors.  I knew the last potty was being used approperiately, so when I got to the 12th EMPTY potty, I flung the door open and said, "Occupied?  Nope!  This one is MINE!"

The waiting crowd gasped, then laughed - and then lunged forward to claim their potty.

Hindsight being 20 / 20, I firmly believe that, in a moment when no one was looking, a prankster turned all the indicators to 'occupied', just to watch the people staning in line, holding their pee!

Why will I forever be the first person that 'gets it', and exclaims, "Nope! That Emperor STILL ain't wearing no clothes!" 

GEEZ!  Such Sheeple!  :D

- Michael