At this point, in my up-hill battle for Gay Rights, equality and justice, I feel that I have only 2 choices:
It's either:
1) "Cuss and pray" at the same time - which may, or may not send me to straight to Hell in a handbasket.
2) or I can fall flat on my back on the floor, with my eyes rolled back in my head, eye lids fluttering, my body stiff as a board, yet flopping around, babbling incoherently, while foaming at the mouth.
At this point in my fight, I don't know whether to "Shit or go blind", or to "Wind my butt or scratch my watch!"
Speaking of 'praying and cussing' at the same time, I heard from a reliable source that the OTHER king, Mr. Elvis Presley, was good at doing that, too.
I once dated a fella (Jim) that was an immediate next-door neighbor to Elvis' Graceland in Memphis. Jim told me the tale of when Elvis was actually home at Graceland, and he ventured out of his seclusion, he would often play Tag with the neighbor kids - including Jim - in his yard. For the life of me, I can't imagine Elvis running **AT ALL** but, there are witnesses to the fact that he did have the occasional urge to play the with neighborhood kids, and get a little exercise.
There is a Chapel on the Graceland estate grounds. Elvis, the King of Rock 'n' Roll, and Tina Turner, the Queen of Rock 'n' Roll, were both raised in Pentecostal churches.
Elvis, the poor tortured soul, could not free himself of the residual guilt that he carried from that 'Pentecostal Past', so when he was home in Graceland, on Sunday morning, he would hold his own 'Church services' in Graceland's chapel. Not only were any and all Graceland Grounds staff required by Elvis to attend these 'services', but also were Priscilla and Lisa Marie. Elvis not only carried a 'burden' in his tough little heart for his grounds staff and his family, but neighbors, including my ex-boyfriend, Jim, were also required to attend these Sunday services.
Jim said that Elvis was standing at the pulpit, with an open Bible in one hand, the other hand pointing to Heaven, and at the top of his lungs, and with all of his energy, he was 'preaching' - with as much sincerity as he could possibly muster. The only problem was, that, if you knew Elvis personally, as a part of his everyday vernacular, you would know that these 'sermons' were peppered with every swear word in the book.
Jim reported that Priscilla and Lisa (and others in the Chapel) would take about as much of the cursing / preaching combo on-slaught as the could swallow and still maintain a straight face, without laughing out loud at him. Any big smiles, giggles, or laughter out-bursts would result in the sermon being interrupted by Elvis, "The Preacher", and the offending individual being reprimanded in front of the congregation in the Chapel. Once Elvis gave the laughing offender a verbal lashing, he picked up where he left off: Cussing and preaching at the same time!
On August 16, 1977, the day Elvis died, my Ex was standing on Graceland's lawn, and watched the EMTs put his body in the Ambulance.
(When I worked as a nurse, one of my fellow nurses sang and played in a Jazz band that often opened for Elvis, Ike / Tina Turner and Chuck Berry, to name a few. The stories that she too, could tell, ranged from endearing to jaw dropping!)
- Michael
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