You can always find one particular man at a gas station here in St. Louis, on Jefferson Ave, panhandling for money. His usual shtick is to tell you that he he was kicked out of his house during a fight by his lover (he is always wearing full pajamas, as if he was kicked out in the middle of the night!). When his unsuspecting victims offer to call the police to get him help, he'll say, "Oh, I'm OK. I just need money for food, shelter...etc."
There is several things wrong with this encounter:
1) This man ALWAYS tells the same story.
2) He has told this story so many times that it sounds over-rehearsed.
3) When I am looking 'like myself' , which is 99% of the time, I am a very recognizable person. (He should have recognized me from the many times before that he tried this stunt.)
4) Like himself, I am a fellow gay man. In other words, he should know that "I've got your number!"
5) I am street-wise enough to know that 90% of panhandlers are looking for drug or alcohol money.
(I've seen perfectly able-bodied people park a vehicle, WALK to the back of their vehicle, take out a wheel chair, get in the wheel chair and start trying to look pathetic!)
Back to the drama 'princess' in the pajamas:
I tell him, "Look, you've played this game for so many years that it is sounding WAY too rehearsed. If you want drug money, you need to change it up a little, AND you need to better recognize people that you have already hit up!" Then I go on to tell him:
"First, I'm on social security, and I'm driving THIS truck through YOUR neighborhood. You've earned enough $ today for your daily fix. Now, YOU GIVE ME A DOLLAR!"
His answer (after he realizes that he has tried this stunt on me several times):
"OK, Girlfriend! Whatever you say!"
He hands me a dollar and shuffles off to find his next victim.
The moral of this story:
I've taken several of his dollars! :)
- Michael
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