Size Doesn't Always Matter ! ! !

Why does the smallest organ get the biggest laugh ???

(The bad organ jokes are so obvious that I can't help myself!)

I am a frequent and repeat offender on the local St. Louis Estate sale circuit.

While there are always exceptions, most of the decor in my home was purchased from estate / tag sales.  In addition to furniture and other decor, I bought at least 4 of my keyboard instruments at these sales, and on all counts, their purchase price was a tiny fraction of what it would have been had I purchased these instruments in a retail store.

(The "Why does the smallest organ get the biggest laugh ??? " story continues below these examples)

Examples would be:

Farfisa Fast 2 combo organ:  Bought for $25.  An identical keyboard on eBay sold for $493.



Indian Hand-pumped Harmonium:  Bought for $25.  Sold on eBay for $244, but they can easily go over $1,000.



Hammond E-182 w/ Leslie 122RV:  Bought for $350, valued at somewhere around $3,000


So...the story continues:


I went to an estate sale that advertised a Hammond E-100, a spinet player piano, and a 1980's entry-level Kimball 'Entertainer' organ -    and other miscellaneous items.

I went to this sale with the intent to buy sheet music or music books.

When I arrived at the sale, I learned that the man that owned this house also helped build the theatre organ in the lobby of St. Louis' Fox Theatre.  This man must have had all of his music memorized, because there was only a short stack of sheet music available for purchase.  I quickly thumbed through the music, and then I sat down at the organ, and played it for a half an hour. I switched to the piano for another half hour.

I had arrived at the conclusion that there was nothing at this sale that was of interest to me, so I did one double-check of the house to make sure I hadn't overlooked anything that I might want to buy.  About 5 seconds before I walked out the door, I noticed a box with a closed lid. It became obvious to me that this 'box' was an upscale chord organ.

I removed the decorative item that was sitting on the organ (and a fellow shopper thanked me for doing so, because she was relieved that I wasn't interested in that particular piece of decor - but she  was, in fact, interested in purchasing the item).  As it turned out, we were both happy.  I got what I wanted, and she got what she wanted.

I raised the lid of this chord organ, and exclaimed to the people running the sale, "I'll take it!"

This was a busy little Friday estate sale, and the house was packed with shoppers.  Only moments before, I was playing a couple gospel tunes, "I'll Fly Away" and "This Little Light of Mine", and everybody in the house stopped shopping, clapped their hands to the music, and sang the songs that I played.  We had an impromptu sing-along.  By the time I noticed this chord organ, the shoppers knew who I was, and what I was about.

When I noticed that the item that I was interested in was an up-scale chord organ made by the Hohner company, and I said, "I'll take it!", everybody in the house roared with laughter!

In semi-self-defense, I asked of them "What??? This purchase is for sentimental reasons!  I started at the age of 7 playing a chord organ, but the one I had wasn't as nice as this beauty!"

They were laughing because, in their presence, I played a full-size console organ, and an acoustic piano.  They were a bit shocked that I would buy the smallest music maker in the house.

The reality of the situation is that I bought this chord organ - for $25 - for both sentimental reasons, and to practice my music.  It's a 'discipline' thing.

This is no ordinary small child's toy.  Even though I do have another locally St. Louis made chord organ (St. Louis Music's 'Apollo' brand), my latest purchase has 72 chord buttons rather than the Apollo's 18 chord buttons.

For the uninitiated (and the uninitiated probably wouldn't be reading this far! :), more chord buttons = more flexibility and variations, and ultimately, more songs can be played with on the chord organ.

Not only does this chord organ have 5 selectable voices, but it has an expression / volume pedal, and another lever action on the expression pedal that increases or decreases the volume of the chord accompaniment independent of the main organ volume.

Although I do not 'wheel and deal' my instruments, 'll probably keep the Hohner organ and sell the Apollo.  I'm at the point in my home where I am trying to put 10 lbs. of  stuff in a 5 lb. sack!

I guess it's just a personal triumph.

But, hey:
Why does the smallest organ get the biggest laugh ???
and
"Size Doesn't Always Matter ! ! !"


- Michael

Which "Lifestyle" would you like today, Door A, or Door B?

Giving first the benefit of the doubt (and giving hidden bigotry enough rope to hang itself), I will initially say that - even though I clearly know better - I would like to believe that the original intent of that post is to do GOOD.

HOWEVER...in my 44 years on this planet, I am one of the rare birds that never, ever saw "The Emperor's New Clothes".  That fat man parading through the streets has been naked since the day of my birth.

That post is definitely in the Emperor's closet of...uh... NO CLOTHES!

Translated:

On the surface, that post appears to have good intent.
If you will peek only slightly beneath it's bubbly surface, you will see that the intent of that post is not at all good.

My mentor, Dr. Phil says, paraphrasing Saint Bernard of Clairvaux:
"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

While I am certain that that statement might also apply to other minority groups, I will gladly take on the role of 'The Gay Spokesperson', because that post almost always refers to gay people.

Because I was born (and lived!) as a gay, handicapped child with a much-less-than-ideal family situation, fighting my way through life has long since become second-nature to me (That is one reason why a gay male couple won last night on this season's "Amazing Race", and there have been a couple more gay couples to win "Amazing Race".)

 Fighting and struggling are second nature to us, and count my physical disabilities, struggling is, indeed, second-nature for me.

I have the brute force required for my ass to cash checks that my mouth writes.  With that being said, I will start by saying, " I'm loving the "lifestyle" thing."  

ALWAYS spoken as if the core of our very existence is a 'style', which is a choice, and used in the same context as the word 'fashion' is used when speaking about 'style', etc. 

You all will have to trust me when I tell you that not a single gay person on the planet CHOOSES to be discriminated against, no more than when black people OR women chose discrimination at specific times in their respective histories.  Being black, being a woman or being gay - it's all genetic.  I believe that those three groups did not CHOSE to be who they are, nor do I believe any of them should see the need to make excuses or to be apologetic for who they are - NOR do I believe that they should have to FIGHT for rights linked to genetics.

BTW - the last time somebody 'disagreed' with women's right to vote (as just one of many examples), even though I swear I wasn't alive at that time, I can guarantee you when half of the USA's population at the time (WOMEN!) did, indeed, get their panties in a wad.    

If anybody needs the subject further broken down, I am adequately prepared to do that for you, as well.

(A  hint for the wise:  

My next point starts out, "I didn't get a chance to vote on YOUR marriage or YOUR rights, so why the Hell should you be voting on MINE?"  

Answer:  Don't be pompous or arrogant enough to think that you SHOULD have the right or the authority to judge my very existence enough to vote on my marriage, my rights to insurance, etc, etc.  )

- Michael

Things Hidden inside a Salvation Army Bellringer's Bucket

A comment posted on FaceBook regarding the bigotry oozing from The Salvation Army against gays / lesbians:"Students at UC Berkeley have passed a bill opposing Salvation Army donation boxes on campus because of the organization's homophobic practices, including discrimination against gay families and couples. Earlier this year, a senior Salvation Army official said gays should be put to death."

A response:

Dean Babcock:
You people are pathetic, You boycott businesses cause they don't cater to you. So you discriminate against them. Kinda like the pot calling the kettle black. Oh right it is ok for gays to discriminate against others, got it, how stupid of me.

MY response to Dean Babcock:

Not pathetic, Dean.  Uh, no.  I boycott businesses because hate and prejudice are just that - hate and prejudice - no matter what filters (rationale) you put over your eyes that allow you to see the situation in a light that makes you feel most comfortable with your own bigotry. 

Just as a minor segway, you do realize, of course, that it is inherent in humans (and any other animal, as far as that goes), to shy away from: bad, danger, hate, dislike, etc.

As a GREAT example, Dr. William Petit Jr and his murdered family (Google it - they're from Connecticut).  This man's family was murdered, and he was left for dead during a hideous robbery.  When Oprah asked him if he was willing to forgive the men that did this crime to his family, Dr. Petit answered her:

"Since it is inherent in the human constitution to hate evil, any forgiveness for these people is "inappropriate."  Oprah said one thing in response to this answer to her question, "That is a very good answer!"

My response to you, Mr Dean:
"No, we will not sit idly by and be bashed about.  And it it perfectly OK for us to NOT sit idly by - and be bashed.  That would be 'inappropriate'.  How foolish of you to think otherwise."

I LOVED finding deals at Salvation Army....until I learned of their prehistoric sentiments against at least 10% of the population.

Now, I can't force myself to step foot in a Salvation Army.  
Goodwill doesn't discriminate, and in St. Louis, their flagship St. Louis store is directly across the street from the Salvation Army store.  Goodwill gets my $$, not hate, bigotry and prejudice.  

But, Mr. Dean:  BEFORE your comment, I am willing to place a wager saying that most of your inner circle didn't know you are a bigot.  AFTER your comment:  THEY NOW KNOW!

Ya gotta love this 'internet thing'.  Like a powerful hurricane hitting land, it churns up and magnifies idiots, goonies, prejudice, and a host of other maggots.  Even though I have to wade through the crap, I am thankful that the internet has busted out a lot of hate that would have otherwise remained hidden and smoldering.  For that, I will say, "Thank you."

- Michael

Amateur Perfumery and Accidental Polo.....

On a particularly adventuresome day (most of my days are!), I put 1/2 cup of water in a glass measuring cup. I added just two drops of patchouli oil (please tell me, dear reader, that you are familiar with Patchouli!), 3 whole cloves, a couple small sprigs of thyme, a couple small sprigs of Artemisia, a dash of cumin, a couple leaves of basil, a few cilantro seed pods (coriander!), a few marjoram sprigs and just a couple rosemary needles.

I wear Patchouli oil, straight and as-is, on a daily basis.

I put the measuring cup in the microwave for about 30 seconds, just to 'get it brewing a bit', and to allow these natural ingredients to release their oils.

After a few seconds, I caught a familiar whiff wafting through the kitchen.

I Googled 'Patchouli, Cloves', and my search returned:



Polo by Ralph Lauren:

Top Notes
Pine , Lavender, Juniper, Artemisia, Bergamot, Cumin, Basil, Green Notes

Middle Notes
Coriander, Marjoram, Jasmine, Carnation, Geranium, Thyme, Rose

Base Notes
Oakmoss, Patchouli, Leather, Cedar, Amber, Musk, Frankincense

To paraphrase a popular Carrie Underwood song, "I unknowingly made $3 worth of bathroom Polo!"

Not only did I accidentally nail some of the very specific ingredients in Polo, but the rosemary could easily substitute for cedar or Juniper.

For the next month, whenever I microwaved my lunch, I smelled Polo throughout my home. I poured my 'new' concoction in a shallow Petri-type dish, and allowed all the water to evaporate naturally. I placed this dish under the seat of my truck, and I use it as an auto freshener. On particularly warm summer days, when I step out of my truck, I smell either like the last surviving Hippie, or like I stepped off the set of a 1980's movie!

- Michael

Would you like some Dead Sea Salt on your wounds?

Yesterday, I got accidentally trapped by a young lady selling 'Dead Sea salts' at a mall kiosk in West County Mall.  She said, "Let me see the back of your hands."  A part of me wanted to seize the moment, and give her a pop upside her head with the back of my hand, but I obliged her:
I showed her the back of my hands.  

She said, "Yep!  Dry skin! Come over here, I have just what you need for dry skin!"  

I said, "Ma'am, the back of my hands are dry because I have a genetic condition called Psoriasis, and 30% of psoriasis sufferes have the associated Psoratic Arthritis that can accompany Psoriasis, which gives me daily severe migraines, which puts me in a not-very-friendly mood, if you know what I mean." 

She said, "I have a salt that cures psoriasis!"
I said, "Why don't you just go ahead on and send me to Hell to finish buring, so I will be in good company!  The very idea of putting ANYTHING with the word 'salt' on psoriasis is counter-intuitive to any person with the disease!"

I looked at her and said, "Along those same lines, I bet you would tell a Crohn's patient that Mylanta will cure their Crohn's, too, eh? Psoriasis is in the same autoimmune disease group as Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Crohn's Disease, Celiac disease, and literally 75 other autoimmune diseases.  THERE IS NO CURE FOR ANY OF THOSE DISEASES.  They are not cured.  They are, at best, managed!"

She was not bright enough to stop while she thought she was ahead of the deal. 

This kiosk saleslady tells me, "Tell me, What do you know about psoriasis?"

I answered her, "OK, I'll play along.  I know that all psoriasis sufferes are born with it, they will live with it, and they will take it to their graves.  It is a genetic disease that is in every bit of DNA that is in every cell of their body.  At this point in medical history, there is no cure for psoriasis, and most of the prescription medications available will serve only to reduce the bloody or scaly patches to hot pink blotches, but it won't clear up the lesions.  If you have a previously unknown miracle cure for psoriasis in that kiosk you're operating, and considering that 1 in 1,000 people on this planet suffer from this disease, in the St. Louis population, alone, you would have a line running from your kiosk, down the mall, out the door, and down Manchester Ave.  Of the 2.5 million in the St. Louis Metro area, 25,000 of us have Psoriasis, and 1/3 of that number have an accompanying arthritis."

With much doubt in her tone, she answered me, "Are you SURE?"
I quickly responded with, "Uh, YEAH!  I think I pretty much 'Got This'!"  Then, I continued with....

"Look, lady!  I have a professional nursing liscense (LPN) in my pocket, which puts me in the running - just ahead of you, at any rate - as an expert opinion AND I have the disease, myself - and at the moment, you're nothing but a mall kiosk operator that knows only to take what your management has told you, instead of doing your own homework.  A simple internet search on your PHONE will give you more education than you have at this very moment."

I turned and walked away.  As you might have guessed, this woman started following me down the mall, continuing her ill-informed sales pitch, until I immediately turned and gave he a look that you would have to see to understand.  At that point, she turned and walked briskly back to her kiosk.  

My psoriasis story:

Lucky me, I am in the 30% of psoriasis suffers that have the accompanying psoriatic arthritis, which sends me to physical therapy once a week, and is responsible for most of the contents of my medicine cabinet.  :)

Another twist to this storied saga is that I have nasty allergic reactions if I use a commercial hand lotion more than once on my skin.

The more natural the product (pure almond oil - from a natural food store, olive oil, etc), the better it is for my skin.  BUT....after a couple hours, I can be walking through Walmart, and I suddenly get a whiff of French Fries, and the smell is coming from me!

A few years back, my dermatologist prescribed a cream that was $600 / month, and it is toxic to the liver.  He wanted me to put on a rubber glove, then rub it over the 500 lesions that I had on my body!  I said, "What the .... ?"

(The cream reduced the scaly scabs to hot pink patches, but it never truly cleared the psoriasis.)

He said, "Either use the cream, or go outside as much as possible! If you don't have the time to lay out in the sun, get a membership to a tanning salon, and if you don't have time to go to one, buy your own tanning bed!"

For two years, I paid a monthly fee to go to a tanning salon.  Within the first two weeks, every psoriasis lesion I had on my body was 100% clear. I couldn't even where they had been.

After two years of going 3 times a week to the tanning salon, I bought a $4,000 professional full-size tanning bed.  It lives in my basement, and I 'visit' it for a half hour every day.  I even have to SIT on it to tan my...well...you know....because psoriasis is an EVIL genetic disease that will attack every spot where 'the sun doesn't shine'.

I asked the dermatologist about my risk for skin cancer.  He told me that my benefit outweighs my risk, and that he would monitor me.  

I had a choice:  Look like a leper or look like the love child from George Hamilton and Moses.  I chose the Moses / George thing!  :)  

While we're on the subject of Dead Sea Salt mall kiosks, it seems like some other folks have also had experience with these worse-than-used-car salespeople:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8835155


- Michael

You Make (Made) Me Feel...

I do have to take issue with the "you make me feel" stuff floating around.

In much the same manner as "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is nothing - and I mean *NOTHING* - more than a quote from a movie ("Love Story"), "You Make Me Feel" is 'just a wonderful disco dance tune', and nothing more.  If you choose to center your life around either one of these quotes, the quality of your short time on this Earth probably won't be as good as you had hoped it would be. 

A good parallel explanation would be Marilyn Manson's quote:

"If they think that my art can destroy their faith, then their faith is rather fragile!"

Put into our context:

"If they can get into your head and manipulate your feelings, then your guard mechanisms are rather fragile."

Nobody can crawl into your head and make you feel anything without your permission, and in fact, without you opening up that door and welcoming them in.

(Good God, I'm going to quote a vampire movie!)

It's kinda like in the movie "Fright Night", when they said, "A vampire can't enter your home without first being welcomed in."

When I hear somebody say, "You made me feel....", I think to myself:

"Damn!  You just moved your weak spot - your Achille's Heel - from your foot to your entire head, and by telling that person that they were successful in their attempts to get into your head, you essentially held a virtual bull's eye target against your skull so that person would be sure to hit that target again the next time!"

When the wheat is separated from the chaff, it quickly becomes clear that "how you feel" occurs entirely in your head, and when a conscious effort is applied, we choose whether or not to let other people in our head, or to kick them to the curb.  You have 100% control over your thoughts.  It is entirely up to you.


- Michael

The Storytone Piano....the world's first practical electric piano

I want one of these, too!  But....eBay prices are $19,900 - $250,000!

How fantastic would this wonderful creation look in my 1960's great room?

  

The Storytone Piano is an early electric piano which had strings with magnetic pickups and tube amplification. Even though it has no real soundboard, it weighs one-and-a half tons!

 

A couple clips of this piano playing on YouTube:

Gotta love it!

- Michael